Kalasia was a nervous wreck. She was preparing for a presentation to the CEO. Her project was at a critical decision point. The CEO and senior leadership team would decide yay or nay whether her ideas for transforming the organization would succeed, or be shelved as irrelevant.

In her initial coaching video, you could see Kalasia actually wringing her hands as she spoke. Even her voice sounded unnatural, filled with fear as Kalasia strained to project a professional composure.

Kalasia started our coaching session saying, “I’ve been recording myself, I’ve made a thousand recordings and I hate them all, I hate seeing myself on video.”

I asked her, “What is the outcome you’re going for?”

No hesitation: “To convince them.”

Struggling with the treacherously self-sabotaging purpose “to convince”, and overly focused on her gestures, Kalasia had become a powerless woman, desperate for approval and trying too hard to make her ideas sound “convincing”.

The more artificial Kalasia became, the more nervous she got.

The purpose “to convince” is a trap.