I meet a lot of new people every week in our workshops. I watch every one of their faces change. I observe as they steadily become beautiful, handsome, radiant, filled with something undefinable.
Others also in the workshops comment on the changes as they watch each other become powerful and filled with an undefinable goodness.
The change begins when they learn about the importance of attention in communication. It really unfolds when they learn about affinity. Here’s how this happens…
Agnes was a new student this week. Her face was stern, forbidding. She had many reasons why she couldn’t have affinity. Basically, it boiled down to “wanting to come across as professional”. I asked Agnes if there was anyone in her life that she had a lot of affinity for, and she started to talk about her children. I took a candid screenshot of Agnes while she talked about them. I showed it to her. Her face was radiant. I didn’t need to say more. Not only was she smiling, but all the faces of the others in our workshop were smiling affection at her in the screen shot. Agnes asked, “But how do I do that when we’re talking about work?” I said, “Easy! I’ll show you how.” And then we uncovered the abundance of natural affinity she has for the people she works with. Agnes left the workshop stunningly beautiful.
Fred is in Sales, big accounts. His face puts you on guard. Artificial smile, sharp eyes looking at you like you are prey and he’s calculating how to get at your wallet. Very off-putting. At least, that’s how he started. I asked if there was anything he likes about the people he sells to. The question took him aback. He said, “I’ve never thought about that.” After thinking for a couple of seconds he said, “Yes! Actually, there’s lots of things.” and listed off a lot of things he really admires and enjoys about them. He turned into a gorgeous man with eyes that were smiling. He looked at you in a way that made you want to open your heart. His candid screenshot was all the coaching he needed on affinity.
Mindy was terrified of public speaking, even if there were only five people. Her face looked mousy and her hair scraggly. I showed her how having affinity for the people she’s talking to drives out fear, drives out anxiety, drives out all bad things. Mindy turned into a beautiful, poised, powerful woman whose radiant smile draws everyone in and makes them smile back. Do not ask me how, but on the second day of the workshop, even her hair looked gorgeous, and I don’t think she did anything to change it. There was just this quality about her that made everything look beautiful. She looked at her candid screenshot and said, “That’s the best photo of me ever taken.”
I am often asked about “body language”. People are very concerned about how they come across and they want to make sure their “body language” is correct for what they’re trying to accomplish.
As they put their attention fully onto the other person, it changes every muscle, not only in their face, but every muscle in their body. And that changes every element of body language.
Then, as they add affinity, a whole new world opens up to them.
There’s a world of difference between “some affinity” and really being filled with the quality. This is when a person becomes truly radiant and charismatic.
Your face alone has 42 muscles. Some sources say it has up to 60. Every single one of them reflects your attention and your affinity.
I take many candid screenshots during the virtual training, and a number of videos with small enough groups when the workshops are in person. A candid photo is a photo where the person is not posing, they don’t even know a photo of them is being taken.
As people go through the workshops, and they see their faces change in their screen shots, especially when they see the anxiety replaced with affinity, they almost can’t believe how good they look.
One described it like this: Falling in love with a wonderful person and then finding out it is yourself!
It’s such a good feeling! Finding that affinity in yourself and being filled with it leads you into such a good place, with others, and with yourself.
It’s a wide-open playing field where things just get better and better. And no matter what you’re trying to achieve, it opens doors to beauty, handsomeness, magic and exceptional relationships. Oh, and incidentally, incredible outcomes and results.
Be the cause!