Seeing the real you

Let’s begin our New Year by talking about Vision.

Vision is all about seeing. The kind of vision that I’m talking about isn’t seeing what’s on the surface. It’s about seeing PAST.

On Day #1 of Transforming Your Presentation Skills, here is generally what happens:

Me: “We’re going to record your first video.  I want to see how you communicate to an audience, to a group. I’ll be doing an assessment as you present, so if you see me writing, that’s what I’m doing.”

Any student hearing this at the start of Day #1: “Oh no!”

Me: “Oh yes! Let’s have you go first.”

As we watch the first video together, we see very different things, the students and I.  They usually hate themselves. This has everything to do with vision.

What I do differently is that I see PAST.

  •  When I look at a person who’s unhappy, I can see who they would be if they were extraordinarily happy.

  • When I see a person who is arrogant, I can see who they would be if they cared about others and were deeply compassionate.

  • When I see a person who lacks confidence, I can see who they would be if they were free of doubt and filled with certainty.

  • When I see someone who doesn’t have Executive Presence, I can see who they would be if they emanated it.

  • When I see someone losing their audience because their presentation skills are weak, I can see who they would be if they were captivating to others.

  • When they are communicating it badly, I can tell what they’re trying to say.

  • When they are overwhelmed with frustration, I can see who they would be if they were winning.

I see all of it clear as day, even if they have never been that.

Most often they can’t see it in themselves. They desperately want it, but they can’t see it. They can tell something good is within them, but they’re stuck on the surface.

When they see me doing a lot of writing as I do my assessment, they think I am being critical and writing down what’s wrong with them. They expect the worst when I start giving them feedback.

What’s actually happening is that I am noting all the unique positive qualities this person has that are struggling to emerge.  I’m writing them all down so I can focus on them and help them emerge and become full blown.

I’m not seeing something that’s not there.  I’m seeing what IS there but they haven’t allowed themselves to fully experience it, they haven’t found it themselves, this incredible part of themselves that is yearning for expression.

It’s beautiful to see the transformation as these extraordinary qualities emerge in each person, they captivate the audience, and sweep even themselves away with their new power.

It’s one reason I use video - to progressively show my students their metamorphosis as they become more and more amazing. They need to see it unfolding for themselves.

When they watch themselves in their final videos at the end of the workshop, they often say, “I don’t know who that is. I’ve never looked like that. Here I look so confident. I look so good. I’m interesting. I can’t stop watching myself.”  I simply say, “That’s the real you.”

They look at me, “That’s the real me?”

“Yes, the real you is wonderful. The real you is intelligent, warm, compassionate, powerful, intentional, beautiful, handsome, captivating.”

These talents just get covered up by life’s bad lessons.

If a woman is taught to believe she’s unattractive, she will be. She won’t discover the beautiful woman she is until she looks past. If an engineer has been taught to believe he’s an unemotional introvert, he will be.  He won’t discover the passionate extrovert he is until he looks past.

I understand life’s bad lessons. I’ve had too many of my own. I had to undo all of them.

These lessons keep you from finding out that you are the hidden treasure you’ve been looking for all your life. It’s all right there, within your reach.

When I coach, I take great pleasure in undoing these lessons for others. I understand the journey back to true self and I can make that journey as short as possible.

We as human beings are capable of anything. Our talents are already there.

I don’t instill or add anything into my students.  I help what is amazing about you emerge. I help you remember what “life” tried to teach you to forget about yourself – that you are capable of amazing others because you are amazing.

The important thing is to FEEL this within yourself. To trust it. To trust you. I know I do.

January is a good time to see the amazing being you are, to remember who you really are. 

Don’t worry about what the rest of the world thinks. They’ll catch up.  They always do.

Be the cause!