Terror, fear, even a little anxiety, makes people talk too fast. When you talk too fast, your words lose their meaning. Correct pacing is the hallmark of a professional speaker. There was one thing that Mariela was doing that was causing ALL the problems I just mentioned. She was talking to EVERYONE.
It seems logical. You have 300 people in your audience - you should talk to 300. Right?
This is the worst thing you can do.
Latisha showed up for Transforming Your Presentation Skills in quite a state. She was very self-conscious. No matter what I said, she kept asking me to coach her on her hand gestures and her words.
“Do you think this hand gesture is better than this one? Do I have more presence if I put my hand on my hip like this?”
On and on. It took Latisha all morning to realize I wasn’t going to coach her on any of that.
It’s a common mistake - I’m always coaching people on this point.
Most people have a lot of attention on themselves, what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling, what they want, what they’re going to say, etc. etc. etc. etc. It’s a deeply trained-in self-consciousness that makes the most important question in their mind when they’re giving a presentation the absolutely wrong question and that is, “How am I coming across?”
It’s a common mistake - I’m always coaching people on this point.
Let’s begin our New Year by talking about Vision.
Vision is all about seeing. The kind of vision that I’m talking about isn’t seeing what’s on the surface. It’s about seeing PAST.
On Day #1 of Transforming Your Presentation Skills, we usually film our students.
As we watch the first video together, we see very different things, the students and I. They usually hate themselves. This has everything to do with vision. What I do differently is….
Some people think you have to be “born with” the skills and charisma that make a really great public speaker. Not true. Let me tell you the story of Henry.
I was invited to give a two-hour talk on presentation skills at a technical conference for a highly specialized professional association.
At the banquet the night before my presentation, I told the President of the association, Steve, that I wanted to line up a volunteer to coach during my talk. He asked what qualities I was looking for and I said, “Someone who really needs to improve in their presentation skills.”
Steve enthusiastically told me Henry would be perfect and I said, “Let’s go meet him.” Well, meet him I did. Henry hardly took his eyes off the floor while we were talking, and for the brief moments they did come off the floor, they went straight to the ceiling or the wall on our right. Turns out, Steve interpreted my request as, “Who is the absolute worst communicator in this group?”
Henry didn’t look like someone who liked to be told what to do. I told Henry, “You know, I’m going to be coaching you in front of 300 people.” He glared at me for a brief moment and said, “What does THAT mean?” I said, “I’m going to be telling you what to do and you’re going to have to do it. Are you okay with that?” He mulled it over a little (looking at the ceiling) and then said, “I guess that’s okay.” Neither one of us was sure that it was, but with these words we locked in our next day’s destiny.
After Henry left, Steve said, “I hope you’re going to coach him on looking at people!” And then laughed for 2 minutes straight.
Tamara was nervous. In two days, she had to give a presentation to 400. Her first really big one.
It was Day 1 of Mastering Virtual Presentations and it was difficult for Tamara to practice without her teeth chattering.
The problem with being nervous is it makes you lose touch with everything good about you. Sometimes to the point where you can’t see anything good about yourself. The things you tell yourself at these moments tend to be dreadful.
Tamara was doubting whether she could speak without forgetting what to say, without everyone seeing how nervous she was.
There was a lot riding on how well Tamara did. If the Salespeople got excited about the new product, the revenue it would generate would be tremendous. But they had so many other products that they were selling, one new one often didn’t register. Tamara was one of many speakers throughout the day that would all turn into a blur.
As one doubt piled on top of another, Tamara doubted even her own ability to speak coherently.
She was a nervous wreck.
It was a truly exciting product she was going to present. If only the Salespeople understood what it did.
In Tamara’s case, it was not a matter of adding anything to her presentation. It was a matter of subtracting.
I was watching Jed give a sales presentation. The faces of his audience were attentive and respectful. They were also unsold. Unmoved.
In other words, Jed’s ideas weren’t landing the way he wanted.
They were politely waiting for Jed to come to the end. They had probably already mentally formulated a polite way of telling him, “Thank you, we’ll consider it” as they gently ushered him out the door.
Jed had no idea why he was losing it, and he kept going. As Jed talked, he got visibly more and more enthusiastic as a way to pump energy into the meeting, which did nothing for his audience.
Jed knew something was wrong, but had no idea what it was.
I have seen innumerable methods for attempting to vanquish stage fright.
Bianca addresses groups of 3,000 customers at a time. She’s in sales. Her way of coping with terror was to run out on a large stage with very loud music, seemingly all “pumped up” and yell at the crowd, “Hey! How's everybody doing?” It was about as far from her true personality as could be, and the second she started her presentation it was obvious she was tense nervous.
Peter found two people in the audience on either side of the room. First, he talked to one, then he talked to the other. They were the only 2 people he looked at. Anchoring on only 2 people didn’t handle his stage fright, but it kept him from totally losing it.
Risha is an engineer. She presents project updates to a skeptical and demanding senior leadership team. Her solution was to avoid all eye contact because she didn’t want to see their disapproving looks, she forced herself to keep her eyes squarely fixed on her notes and her slides.
Lynette powered through her talks on pure nerves and adrenaline, and collapsed with exhaustion when they were over.
If any of these methods of handling stage fright worked, they wouldn't have it.
What they’re all trying to do is drive their symptoms out of existence. The symptoms include every flavor and intensity of fear, from feeling slightly nervous and on edge to complete terror.
The reason these methods don't work is because they don't address the root cause of stage fright. And most people have no idea what's causing it.
If you don't know what's causing it, how can you fix it?
Sam put them to sleep within the first 10 minutes of his 40-minute presentation. He’s not alone in being able to do this.
The problem with corporate presentations is they’re lifeless. Audiences slowly drown in a sea of droning boring corporate “they all look alike” PowerPoint presentations.
They all start with, “Today I’m going to talk to you a little bit about…”
Then they unroll a slowly moving parade of too many uninspired slides endlessly connected by unimaginative transitions of, “Now on my next slide you’ll see…”
If this is you, you’re gradually putting them to sleep. Your audience slowly, but politely, disengages. Their minds start drifting and they start covertly multitasking, their attention desperately seeing something to keep them awake.
If they possibly can, your audience will start interrupting you. I coached a VP last week who told me that when his people present to executives they always hear, “Okay, let’s stop here, stop presenting for a moment, just let me ask you some questions ….” and the execs just take over and drive the presentation into a ditch (as far as the presenter is concerned).
Here’s the thing to know about audiences: they only stay with you as long as they are learning from you, and what they’re learning must be new and interesting.
I know, I know. The problem is you don’t have exciting content to work with. You have, well, corporate presentation material. And, let’s face it, nobody’s ever made an action movie out of a corporate presentation. I understand your challenge.
But just because your material may seem boring, it does not mean that you have to be.
“I hate seeing myself on video! That person I see up there is not at all the person I want to be!!!”
I hear this all the time when I show my clients their first video at the start of their workshop. It’s torture.
To see that person up there on the screen and feel powerless because it’s not who you want to be, and not even that person you know you are.
This is the struggle. And it’s an incredibly important breakthrough when you are able to watch a video of yourself and love seeing yourself.
Most people are not there. What, and who, they are being is stiff, uncomfortable, disconnected. And very unnatural. And they hate when they see themselves being this way.
By the same token, people don’t want to look the way many people look after they’ve done “speaker training”, like a speaker on steroids, overly pumped up, overly polished, over-rehearsed and scripted, performing not communicating. That too is unnatural.
The worst part for people watching their first video is they don’t know what’s wrong. They know there’s something wonderful trapped inside them, but when they get up to speak, it stays trapped. This disturbs your confidence. It disturbs your power. It disturbs your ability to be understood.
Being in a senior executive level position doesn’t alleviate this discomfort. As a matter fact, it makes it worse, because there’s more “pressure to perform.” Your presentations are more visible and more widely critiqued. Many senior executives dream of being free of presentation anxiety.
I’ve just described 80% of the people I see giving corporate presentations. It’s so common, it passes for “normal”.
But most people KNOW they’re capable of MUCH more. Even if not one of them knows what’s wrong or how to get there.
I’ve been delivering tons of virtual and in-person presentation skills workshops and coaching. Extraordinary executives, brilliant engineers, top sales professionals, fascinating attorneys, individual contributors, early in career, the complete spectrum of corporate life.
They’re dynamic, charming, funny, warm, open, personable …. that is, until the workshop starts.
Then they each take turns giving their 1st presentation, before any coaching.
Suddenly life, personality and charisma drains out of them, they become very corporate. Very businesslike, deadpan. Dry data, cautiously stated conclusions, serious, matter-of-fact, completely restrained and inhibited self-expression. Conservative. Suddenly it’s SERIOUS.
I remember a student I had a couple years ago who, when I asked her to tell me her goals for the workshop said, "I want to get my Mojo back. I used to have Mojo and somehow I lost it." Such a good goal!!!
When your Mojo’s working, you’re feeling GOOD. And the audience can’t help but feel good too, and absolutely love you.
It has nothing to do with content. Nothing at all to do with WHAT you’re talking about.
It has everything to do with YOU.
I was watching a video of a live presentation by Mark, the CEO of a major corporation with more than 40,000 employees. Mark was visibly and painfully uncomfortable. Worse yet, he was making a fool of himself.
Mark had heard about me and reached out with a request that I coach him on his presentation skills. He had his Chief of Staff send me a couple of his recent videos to watch in advance “to see what he’s doing wrong”.
Mark knew something was clearly wrong. In our initial conversation, Mark told me, “The more feedback I get, the worse I’m getting. I need someone to straighten this out for me. I may not be the best public speaker in the world, but there’s no reason I need to be the worst.”
I started our first coaching session wanting to understand what was going on in his mind. I asked Mark, “What were you trying to do up there?”
Mark answered, “I’ve been given feedback that as a CEO I need to be vulnerable, and that I also need to be more passionate. That’s what I was trying to do.”
I asked, “What does that mean? Vulnerable and passionate?”
Mark looked at me, and with great pain in his eyes said, “I have no idea.”
Well, there you go. Mark was trying really hard to execute something that was completely incomprehensible and confusing.
Jesse is used to doing the impossible. He just applied for a position that everyone told him he couldn’t get. He’s been told many times that “usually” people need to “prove” themselves for several years before they’re considered for these higher levels.
Jesse long ago decided that “usually” was not for him.
He applied for the position … and got it. Right away too, I might add.
Jesse has gotten every position he’s applied for in the last 5 years, and there have been a good number. Many more than “usual”. His career is on the fast track.
The room overwhelmed Alan the moment he stepped in and his eyes touched the endless space around him. Unfamiliarity with the enormous size crushed his confidence and sense of importance, leaving him feeling small, nervous and terribly self-conscious. His walk to the stage was uncomfortable, an awkward expression of embarrassment. Should he walk fast? Slow? He walked like he wasn’t sure.
Alan would be speaking to almost 1,000 of his organization’s leaders in this very room.
He already dreaded the moment the room would be filled with their faces, turned toward him, silently waiting for his first words.
Long before that moment arrived, Alan had already lost the battle to save his dignity and present with confidence.
It was an honor to be invited to join the senior leadership ranks, but Alan was far from feeling the grandeur he experienced when he watched the other senior execs present.
He simply felt small.
Anticipating the event had him drowning in a sea of misery and anxiety.
But Alan wasn’t ready to give in.
Steve was nervous. New to the executive ranks, he was preparing for his first major presentation to 250 senior leaders of a $30 billion corporation. Let me tell you what was making him uneasy. This is what he told me:
“I’m putting the finishing touches on my slides and I’m nervous. I wish I didn’t have to use them, but I have slides that MUST be shown. I want to be able to engage the audience, and engage them like NO OTHER PERSON EVER HAS, but I’m worried I’m not going to come through because of all the slides I have to show them.”
I understand the problem.
The most important factor in a truly successful presentation is the deep, powerful, human connection a great presenter makes with every person in the room. Slides can easily BREAK your connection with the audience.
Without that connection, your words are weak. They hit the surface of the audience’s mind and bounce off. There’s no impact.
I was coaching Jon, a senior executive located in bustling New York City’s mid-Manhattan.
Jon wants to develop Executive Presence.
We began with presence.
Executive presence is a particular type of presence. It’s an advanced type of presence.
You need to possess tremendous presence before you can develop Executive presence.
A key factor in presence is the ability to stay in the moment.
I taught Jon the robust theory behind presence, and now he was practicing the first exercise he had to master. Jon had his eyes closed so he wouldn’t be visually distracted. He was simply sitting there, being in the moment, learning how to control his attention and awareness and simply stay in the moment.
It was difficult for Jon in the beginning. As he sat there with his eyes closed, he was struggling with a traffic jam of thoughts in his head. Worries about an upcoming meeting, snatches of yesterday’s conversations, sudden rememberings of something he’d promised. A mad rush of thoughts whirled around, colliding in his mind, distracting him from the present moment. Creating chronic anxiety.
Here’s the thing to know about audiences: they will only stay with you as long as they are learning.
I know, I know. The problem is you don’t have exciting content to work with. You have, well, corporate presentation material. And, let’s face it, nobody’s ever made an action movie out of a corporate presentation. I know your challenge. I get it.
But just because the material may seem boring, does not mean that you have to be.
This is something you can do with your own presentations to keep your audience on the edge of their seats. I’m going to tell you how a professional keeps their audience engaged.
George was droning on. And no matter how hard he tried, his sounded like every other flat corporate presentation.
Not only was it boring, it made George boring. There was nothing of value in his work or in George. Nothing to pay attention to.
Never having had a real mentor, George was following in the footsteps of the thousands of other tiring corporate presenters he’d seen, all stamped from the same mold.
His presentations had devolved into a stream of words with no meaning.
But George always had the feeling that he was capable of more.
“I get stage fright so bad, my mind freezes up and my ears start to burn.” So said Matt.
Janet, our Lead Trainer, and I were coaching Matt, preparing him for an upcoming in-person presentation he will be giving to 500 leaders from his company, gathered together for a quarterly meeting in a large convention center. Matt is a Senior Vice President, responsible for $6.2 billion worth of annual revenue. He knows his stuff, he’s a good man. Yet terrified of public speaking.
Put Matt in front of 500 people, his expertness, confidence, talent and intelligence drain right out of him.
“I feel all alone up there, completely disconnected. Even when I know what I want to say, it all leaves me.”
We’re still delivering an abundance of virtual coaching, and we also recently opened up our office for in-person training for the first time in 2 ½ years. It’s been thrilling. It’s for small groups of no more than six, so it’s also very personal.
Having the whole person in front of us for the whole day, several days at a time, seeing them laugh and smile in all dimensions, has been rich.
Even more remarkable have been the incredible transformations in their presentation skills.
Copyright 2023 Effective Training Solutions. All Rights Reserved.