Sean was one of several hundred employees in a division of a very large corporation. He reported to a Manager who reported to a Director who reported to the Vice President. Sean “commanded” no one.
The Vice President issued a directive to Sean’s division that, after being in place for two weeks, was extremely unpopular within the ranks. Despite major grumbling, the division Managers told their people that they understood their frustration, but to try to deal with it best they could.
Sean was so bothered by this directive, he was seriously thinking of quitting a job he loved and looking for another one outside the company.
Since he had just taken Causative Communication, he used what he learned to ask for a meeting with his Manager. It took COURAGE for Sean to approach her on this hot topic.
As he suspected, the Manager knew people were unhappy, but it wasn't totally REAL to her how bad it actually was. It often happens that the other person has some idea of the situation, but it's just a glimpse and not the full force of it, it’s not as REAL to them as it is to everyone else. They don’t really get it.
While making sure the conversation maintained a positive and friendly tone despite the message he was bringing, Sean communicated what I would call a “creative reality”. I call it that because it was all about how to create a new and different reality. His job was no more than to very simply make it REAL to her. That turned their conversation into a powerful dialogue that lasted 30 minutes.
As she listened, his manager was stunned by the full realizations of what Sean was telling her. Other people had told her, but not that persuasively. They hadn’t made it real.
Not all talking communicates. As a matter of fact, much of it doesn't. It just bounces off. Never penetrates the surface where it does no good.
Within an hour, on her own decision, she had gone to the Director above her, and then together they went to the Vice President. The VP cancelled the directive. Not only that, the VP was immeasurably grateful to Sean. He had no idea how his directive was impacting those so much lower in the organization. It all happened in one day.
The day this happened Sean sent me an email saying, “The entire team of hundreds has benefited! This outcome would never have happened if I didn’t go in and communicate.”
Two weeks later, Sean sent me another email saying something most people never get to say: “I almost can't believe this! My BOSS’S BOSS is now coming to me for my opinions.”
That's the power of REAL communication. It’s not confrontational. It simply puts you in command of the outcome.
Most people have been systematically trained NOT to command. They’re commanded, not commanding. And so, they’re more likely to give up and “compromise”.
Another word for “compromise” is “sacrifice”. This leaves a person feeling small.
Many people are afraid to command, or mistakenly think that to be commanding means you have to be harsh, authoritarian or militaristic.
I can assure you that your ability to command THROUGH SUPERIOR COMMUNICATION SKILL is what determines your leadership and destiny. What you want to command is attention, respect, interest, and real understanding. That depends on your ability to communicate, not your position in the organization’s command chart.
You can see that when we say someone “commands attention” or “commands respect” that this level of “command” is to “deserve”. That’s the secret of HOW you command attention, interest, understanding and agreement.
To “demand” these is a sign of weakness in communication ability. Attention, respect, interest, understanding and agreement can’t, and won’t ever, be given because they’re “demanded”.
They’re given when they are unquestionably deserved. Not because your work deserves it (that’s to be assumed). But because your ability to communicate deserves nothing less.
Do you want attention, respect, interest, understanding and agreement?
You can have them all. It’s not a question of your title, seniority or how many people report to you. It’s simply a question of skill.
Do you have the communication skills required to command the outcomes you want to create?
What about your communication will others find compelling?
Let it be the way you craft your key message, your presence, your strong affinity for others, your powerful intention, how you listen, the rich texture of your acknowledgements, your ability to create a vibrant dialogue and build agreement, and how you keep the conversation smoothly flowing to a joyous outcome.
Be the cause!