Everyone wants to connect. Most people don’t know how.
How to change everything in a single presentation
How to Maintain Executive Presence When You Have to Use Slides
Reading the mind of your audience
Transforming a screen full of "black squares" into real connection
How to achieve a standing ovation
Standing ovations are the hallmark of highly skilled presenters. They occur in proportion to how precisely you reach your audience, whether you hit a true bull’s eye with your delivery and your message. They start long before your final sentence. There’s only one driving element that produces them. Simply put, the depth of your skill in both message and delivery determines the depth of your audience’s response.
The 10 Rules of Executive-Level Presentations
That email came from Vikram, a senior leader who had sent his top team to our Art of Executive-Level Presentations workshop.
Before that, everyone was frustrated. The ELT was frustrated with long, unfocused presentations that buried the point. Vikram’s direct reports were frustrated because they couldn’t get anything approved.
They had an abundance of good ideas, intelligence, and spent hours preparing their presentations to the ELT. None of these were working because they weren’t playing by the rules.
Everything changed once they learned The 10 Rules of Executive-Level Presentations I’m making available in this PDF. (Free Download)
How to move people when logic isn’t enough
David leads a large group in an organization that has over 80,000 people. They’ve been getting hammered in the news for months now, trying to recover from mistakes made by the then-CEO five years ago. Unfortunately, they’ve just had to announce layoffs. There’s a tremendous amount of unsettling re-organization and re-shuffling going on. Where people will land is up in the air. The future of the organization is uncertain and morale is at an all-time low.
David’s group is the only inspired group in the whole organization. They’re engaged, focused, forward-looking. And helping the new CEO turn the whole organization around. That wasn’t always true.
They’re inspired not because conditions are better for them, but because David changed the story he was telling them.
When David first came for Beyond Persuasion, his attempts to “inspire” his team were falling flat. He was saying all the right things: the new vision, the plan, the priorities, the outcomes, the call to action. All good, but none of it was working.
How to become a fearless presenter
Most people begin presentations unsure how the audience will react. It’s the not-knowing that undermines self-confidence. They look for the first response to regain their footing. And when the reaction isn’t what they expected, confidence drops again.
Prediction vanquishes fear, even when the starting point looks dismal. You’re not needing. You’re not guessing. You’re not hoping or wishing. You’re able to predict. With certainty. Prediction becomes possible when …
The 10 rules of “Audience Logic”
Most people don’t know how to create instant acceptance. It’s rare to see someone who does. When the stakes are high, most think they’re being “logical” when they’re actually relying on a kind of logic that generates too many words. They talk a lot, present too much detail and explanation, believing it’s essential to creating understanding and agreement. Audiences don’t work like that.
Especially at the executive and senior levels. They have their own logic.
To be successful you have to master a different logic. Audience Logic. Audience Logic decides the outcome.
Here are the rules of Audience Logic (especially senior level audiences):
How to win the audience before you say a word
Laura: “You weren’t watching me!”
Me: “No, I could hear you. I knew what you were doing. I was watching the audience to see what change you produced in them.”
Laura had asked me to be there when she presented at an industry conference with hundreds of potential customers. The revenue potential was enormous if she was successful with her presentation. I spent several days coaching her to get her messaging, and the way she delivered it, just right.
The big day came. I was watching the audience like a hawk. I wanted to see the audience reactions from the moment she said “Hello”, all the way through exactly how they looked as she walked off the stage. Were they looking at her with admiration as they applauded? Or shuffling around and checking their phones?
I started watching the audience before Laura even walked on. They were on their phones or talking to the person next to them. Laura entered the room. I could feel something change in the room as they watched her walk. It was the way she was walking. They could see she carried herself differently.
How to have the audience see the best in you
I’ve worked with professionals and executives of large corporations for over 30 years. They are used to feeling tense. It’s become normal. Feeling completely comfortable is not normal. Being relaxed is not.
That’s how being slightly tense, or even very tense, becomes habitual. And they’re surrounded by others who are also slightly or very tense. So they’re swimming in a sea of uninspected “normal”.
Demanding better and making it happen
Last week, Mark came out of his virtual meetings feeling drained. This week he’s leaving each meeting exhilarated.
For the past several months, a new management team struggled with (in their words) lack of trust and suspicion. This week, they’re filled with great affinity for each other and are finding great pleasure in working together.
Last week, Andy and his wife were getting on each other’s nerves after being confined to their house for so long. This week, they’re enjoying being together and having the best conversations ever, so happy they found each other again.
Last week, Lisa, a millennial, felt disrespected and dismissed by the people she worked with, and resented them deeply for it. This week, they’re coming to her for her opinions and she loves them all.
What happened to these people?
A transformation happened. A transformation facilitated by an increase in their abilities.
It all happened with only TWO steps. Here’s how to take them:
Step 1 (the only step that starts you down this road): Your decision that existing reality is not as good as you demand it to be in order for you to be happy.
Step 2: Learning. The only way of gaining the ability to transform existing reality into that dream within you that will make you happy.
It’s easy to move furniture around to change a scene. But we live in a world of people. And transforming our lives ultimately means transforming these relationships. People aren’t furniture. They don’t like being moved around. They talk back. And they refuse to move.
That’s why the most important ability is communication. The ability to be fully understood and to respond to what comes back to you in a way that creates a shift in reality.
Create enough shifts, and you’ve changed your life.
How long does it take? One conversation, if you’re good at it.
I’ve seen too many people learn to live with dissatisfaction and explain it away as a necessary part of life. I don’t know how many times people have said to me, “You can’t always be happy.”
Yes you can.
The one psychologist I ever went to see in my life during my first (and last) visit said, “The problem with you, Ingrid, is that you expect to be happy ALL the time.”
I thought to myself, “Absolutely! Isn’t that what this is all about?”
And I decided if he thought that was a problem, I could help him a whole lot more than he could help me. He wasn’t asking me for help, so I chit-chatted with him a bit and left with a warm and friendly (but final) goodbye.
I am pretty much happy all the time. Do you know why? Because I spent my life learning how to communicate and I can do it. Because gaining this key ability makes you causative. Because being happy is what being causative does.
I very much want others (you) to be happy all the time too. All the time. And what makes me happiest is teaching and seeing people (you) increase their communication abilities, feel better about themselves and about the world.
Nothing helped me become causative more than the skills I now teach to others. These abilities enable me to navigate the trickiest, the most complex and challenging conversations (and people) to create outstanding relationships and outcomes worth celebration. Every day.
Just like the students I wrote about at the start of this article. They’re happy. And they’ll be happy tomorrow.
Keep increasing your abilities. There is no ceiling to stop their growth. The more you have, the happier you will be. Take those two steps. Decide. Learn. Be nice to the people who tell you that you can’t be happy all the time, do the work and go ahead and be really happy anyway.
If you want someone to get you to that goal fast, then acquire the abilities I help you develop in Building a Foundation for Causative Communications and let’s get going.
Be the cause!
Ingrid
“Passionate” speaking and other signs you’re a communication novice
The Executive VP of a large Silicon Valley organization has asked me to coach his VPs on their virtual presentation skills.
Their global “All Hands” presentations are now critical.
The current situation has gone on too long with no end in sight. Employees are getting restless, morale is starting to sag.
The words of inspiration that worked in the beginning are falling flat. There’s nothing to look forward to. Their weeks have turned into drudgery, tinged with suppressed despair.
The VPs can’t keep promising the same old things. No one believes it. No matter how you paint it, tomorrow doesn’t look any different than today.
Everyone’s working longer hours, relentlessly tied to their computer screens, coping with the home scene, surrounded by mountains of work. The future just looks like more of the same.
No breakthrough in sight.
With that as a background, yesterday I coached Martin, a VP who, in addition to everything happening above, is one of the world’s most monotonous presenters.
His “All Hands” presentations are 45 minutes of unendingly dry monotone followed by 15 minutes of uninspired Q&A…all delivered virtually to a global audience.
Martin hates being virtual. His exact words were, “I hate talking to a camera.”
And that’s how he comes across. Like he is talking to a piece of furniture.
Even as I was listening to the first video Martin sent me so I could make an assessment of his skills, by the time I got to the end, I couldn’t remember what he’d said.
Martin was so tuned out to his presentation, there was no way I could tune in.
That was two months ago. Since then, I’ve been coaching him two hours a week.
Martin’s had many coaches before me. They all told him to be more dynamic. They all told him he needs to smile. He kept trying to tell them, “That’s not me.” They wouldn’t listen, they kept pushing him. Martin decided he really didn’t like coaches. He was prepared to dislike me.
My first order of business was to tiptoe around the mine field called, “It’s not me.” I agree with Martin that being yourself is sacred. No matter what, it’s VERY important always that you are YOU.
I wanted Martin to become even MORE himself because, for all of us, that’s where our real power lies.
I’m very good at drawing a map “from here to there”. I can accurately assess where a person is and help them navigate the route to the charisma buried inside them. I help them cross that bridge to find their gold.
Once I have that map (and for each person it’s different), I’m extremely systematic in my coaching. I don’t make the mistake that many coaches make: coaching too many things at one time.
I start with fundamentals and build a very solid foundation. I work on one thing at a time until the person really gets it and owns it. And only then do we work on the next thing. In the beginning it looks like we’re going slow, but this is truly the way to make rapid progress.
It’s how I snuck up on Martin. In the beginning we spent several sessions working only on developing his eye contact and creating a powerful connection with a virtual audience.
He did it a little at a time. I had him do a little bit more, then a little bit more, until it was full blast.
Now, when he looks into the camera, you feel a STRONG executive presence. You also feel like he is sitting right in front of you in person. Martin captivates you. His eyes are alive.
When you think you’re talking to a camera, your eyes are dead. Your eyes only come to life when you’re talking to a person. It’s a skill to talk to a camera and bring your eyes to life.
Yesterday we worked on being compelling. Then on being inspiring. I gave Martin real time coaching as he practiced, helping him tease out that vital carrier wave called intention. People mistake passion for intention, and try to be passionate. Passion is hollow and ineffective compared to intention.
Intention is what you want. Passion is what YOU’RE feeling. Intention determines how you’ll make THEM feel.
The message Martin has to deliver in his next “All Hands” is a difficult one. He has to tell them that, for the foreseeable future, it’s going to be a lot of work and little immediate reward. That’s what we practiced.The change in Martin in the course of two hours was startling. By the end of our coaching session, he was one of the most amazing speakers I’ve ever seen in my life.
Martin didn’t sugar coat the situation. He explained the mountain of work facing the workforce needed to reach a worthwhile future, but did it in a way that evokes an intensity of genuine purpose that will organically and naturally (no hype) inspire everyone to rise to the challenge, join forces and do it with an intensity of energy.
You see, it’s not about how passionate the speaker is. It’s about how passionate the audience is when the speaker is finished.
Martin will ignite passion.
I have no doubt that his “All Hands” next week will be met with inspired enthusiasm. If Martin were live and in-person, I have no doubt they would rise and give him a standing ovation.
In our current world, where virtual communication is more important than ever, your ability to develop and use these skills like Martin is doing will create your future success.
You literally get to choose how far you go.
High skills will lead to high levels of success.
Mediocre skills will lead to invisibility.
If you want these skills, you can get them. Check out Mastering Virtual Presentation Skills and Building a Foundation for Causative Communications.
Be the cause!
When Interns present better than SVPs
I’m always so happy to see my students winning. I’m delighted that my inbox is always full of their successes and wins. And I’m always thrilled when I hear that their ability to communicate deeply touches and moves others.
Recently I received a request to train 16 highly successful mid-level engineering professionals as part of their challenging leadership development program.
I laughed with joy when I heard the reason for the request.
Last year, the same corporation asked me to train 40 very bright college students who intern at this huge Silicon Valley company in the summertime. Many of them get hired full-time after they graduate.
The interns work in teams on ambitious projects designed to produce financial ROI. At the end of the summer, each team presents their project results to a panel of senior executives. It is fiercely competitive, with senior execs selecting the top 3 teams, and special prizes going to each.
I was hired to give these 40 interns presentation skills training the day before their big presentation so they would come across exceedingly well to the executives.
You can imagine being in college and having to present to the senior executives of a major Silicon Valley corporation. They were nervous! So this training was a very good idea and very generous on the corporation’s part.
These young college students did extremely well in the training and the feedback they received from the execs after their presentations was fabulous.
The panel of executives, however, were faced with a dilemma. They couldn’t decide which team to choose as #1 because they all presented their results so well. They were heard asking each other, “What is WITH these interns?! They’re better at presenting than many of the executives around here!”
What really blew the execs away, was that there weren’t just one or two good presenters in the group of 40. They were ALL strong.
These summer college interns blew the senior execs away so thoroughly, the organization asked me to train their high potential leaders so they too would develop the same skills. This time their presentations were virtual, even more challenging.
This training also went well, with one of them emailing me the next day:
“It felt so great to know I was connecting and engaging the panel of execs, even though I couldn’t see them. I could FEEL it! At the end of my presentation, the top exec said, ‘Wow! I have no words! That was AMAZING!’.”
I am so proud of them, as I am all my students.
I’m especially proud of the college students. They are walking tall. And so thrilled that they gained these impressive and powerful abilities early in their career.
The ability to communicate is THE most important ability to have, because with this ability comes the ability to open every door in your life. That’s my goal and my purpose. For you to experience that freedom.
Don’t let being virtual stop you from being powerful. If you want these skills, you can get them. Check out Mastering Virtual Presentation Skills and Building a Foundation for Causative Communications.
Be the cause!
Perfect Understanding
The essence of humanity is our individuality. Because of this, we each have unique viewpoints. Often we have emotions attached to them.
“Viewpoint” literally means, “the point from which you view”. If you’re at the bottom of the mountain looking up, the top looks very different than it does after you’ve climbed it. You’ve changed your viewpoint. You now see it from a different viewpoint. You now possess two viewpoints of the mountain top.
You can say what is true for you at the bottom. The truth will be different when you’re at the top.
The challenge becomes when we try to communicate our different viewpoints. Often it goes smoothly. But not always.
When it doesn’t, it’s generally because disagreement is overwhelming the conversation, and has overpowered understanding.
When there’s no understanding, there’s no real acknowledgment of what is said. And that’s when communication goes south.
Understanding and agreement are very different. “Understanding” means, “I can see it from your viewpoint, I see what you’re seeing from your point of view, I perceive it clearly.”
“Agreement” means, “I think the same way as you do, I consent, let’s do that, I have the same opinion, I even think you’re right.”
To simply see something from another’s point of view is often the greatest challenge people have.
They’re so busy disagreeing, they stop seeing.
The problem people have is this: when they don’t agree, they withhold their understanding. They say things like, “I don’t understand how you could feel that way.” Or they mistake this for understanding: “I totally understand you. You’re selfish, stupid, stubborn and you’re wrong.”
The moment you withhold your understanding, even a little, you suppress the one thing that makes communication, and relationships, work.
Understanding is a skill. A high level skill. A powerful ability.
The more you perfect it, the more magical your life becomes.
I received this email from a student who completed Causative Communication online training a week ago:
“I'm amazed at how quickly it allows a conversation to move on by acknowledging, and how finding the words is easy when you have affinity. It's exactly what we learned, but it has not stopped happening outside of class or at work. I've also shared the approach I learned with my kids, and I've seen them be successful with it as well.
“My son struggles with anxiety, and in particular he worries about making people angry by not agreeing with them. I told him about affinity, acknowledging, and the difference between understanding and agreeing, and with a little practice at home, it has completely changed his perspective on interacting with people, and eliminated that fear!”
I love that there is a young boy who is learning how to be causative, how to freely communicate and exchange viewpoints with anyone, while still a child. This is going to serve him well throughout his entire life.
It gives me great joy that his fear, his anxiety, has vanished.
This opens up the whole world to him, and endless possibilities.
With affinity, understanding and acknowledgments, you possess the tools to create magic in any conversation, to bring about affinity, understanding and acknowledgment in others.
When you have this certainty, you can achieve harmonious collaboration with anyone, and the ability to create the future you dream of.
Every service we offer, whether it’s online/offline, in a group or even one-on-one, will move you forward towards that goal.
Be the cause!
Crossing the bridge into the land of your dreams
Learning does something nothing else can. It engages and exercises your mind, fills you with well-being and makes you feel powerful.
Today I’ll tell you about Virginia and the transformation that learning created in her life…
Virginia is a really good person, but she never stood out. She interviewed for a number of exciting new roles within her company … and kept not getting them.
She works for a company that offers our classes to their employees, which is how I met her. Virginia showed up for Causative Communication eager and motivated to find out how to create a winning streak.
The following week she was in Mastering Virtual Presentations and, as I started the class, she interrupted, bubbling over with enthusiasm, and said, “There’s something I need to tell you:
“Right after the last class I had to do an extremely difficult series of interviews for a competitive position. I was interviewed by a panel of executives, followed by a series of one-on-ones with key stakeholders. The next day their HR partner called me and said, ‘I normally never tell anyone this so quickly, but we’ve all talked and you are for sure the person we want in this role. Everyone who interviewed you said that, compared with everyone else they interviewed, you really stood out. You created such a bond and trust with each one of us, we all felt you’re part of our team already! One of the execs even said that a wonderful positive energy comes from your eyes. We can’t wait to have you start!”
She was the same person, but the result was completely different. Keep in mind: she created “a bond and trust” with people and execs she didn’t know and these interviews were all virtual!
REAL communication dissolves all barriers. It creates true understanding, trust and a closeness you wouldn’t think could be possible when you’re virtual.
Virginia had a clear and beautiful vision of success. And a firm decision to make it.
Learning enabled her to cross that bridge. And now she’s flying high with wings that will keep her airborne.
Learning enables you to cross any bridge into the land of your dreams. That’s why a great teacher is such a gift in your life and to the world.
Never let your current level of ability limit your dreams. There’s no ability you can’t develop. All the abilities you could ever want are inside of you, like many seeds waiting for sun and water.
Your dreams are there for a reason. They are waiting for you to live them.
And learning can make it all possible.
What are you going to learn next?
Be the cause!
The history of kindness
Kind in the dictionary is defined as, “sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tenderhearted, and generous” as in, “He was a strong leader, yet kind.” Kind people are easy to love.
The word also means, “type of” as in, “What kind of pizza is that?” or “Humankind” (the type of living being that is human).
What’s interesting is the derivation, the history, of the word kind. It has the same derivation as the word kin, which means “family.” And it has the same derivation as kindred, which in addition to meaning “family,” also means, “sharing the same beliefs” as in, “We’re kindred spirits.”
Humankind originally came from two words put together. The first meant “one who has intelligence” plus cynn which meant “family”. Humankind defined as a family, brothers and sisters, who have intelligence.
The word kind is deeply rooted in the idea of family, with the additional meaning of people like us, meaning, our kind.
And it’s to these people (our kind of people) we are most sympathetic, tenderhearted and generous. In other words, our kindness flows more easily or naturally toward people who are similar to us, people who share our history, our views, people who feel like “our family”.
The more we see similarity between ourselves and others, and especially our similarity with all humankind, the more kindness we have in the world.
I’ve been studying ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt. When I compare how much kindness was shown “outsiders” in their time (not much) to what I see today, despite an unrelentingly pessimistic media, I see that we never halt our pursuit of understanding, compassion, kindness and kinship with others. We never stop talking. We never stop trying to be understood.
Yes, we have a long way to go. And seeing our similarities amidst any differences surely helps. Our only tool is communication, as that is all that leads to understanding. Causative communication.
I have faith we’ll arrive.
Be the cause!
How to speak with your eyes…
Do you have a favorite photo of you?
If you’re like most people, you have many photos of you that you’re not crazy about, and a small handful you like. That photo you do like captures for forever something wonderful about you. It’s the one photo of you that makes even you smile.
A really good photographer knows how to bring that out in you. That’s what I do in teaching people virtual presentation skills. Bring it out. In this article I want to help you see WHY you like that photo of you and not others.
This will help you create more photos you like, but the reason I’m focusing on this is that the same principle applies to creating powerful communication virtually, especially when you’re giving virtual presentations.
I’m going to use Marc as an example. Marc is a senior executive I coached this week, helping him prepare for a presentation he’ll be making with thousands watching. The two reasons people are listening to Marc are interest in his content and his position in the organization.
As a technical leader, Marc is extremely knowledgeable and has great technical content. Marc also has a great strategy, and he’s innovative. None of these come across.
It comes across dry. Fine for the first 3 minutes, then disappointingly uninspiring. He can’t wait for it to be over, and neither can you.
How do you bring out the charisma of someone like this?
Let me bridge back to you and talk about how do you bring it out of yourself?
Well first let me tell you how NOT to do it.
You know when someone’s taking your picture and they tell you to smile? What are you feeling at that moment? Pretty awful, right? Like you’re forcing yourself to smile when you’re not feeling it. You’re FORCING that smile. You hold it until the camera clicks. And then you drop it.
When you do that, your smile looks fake. It doesn’t match the look in your eyes.
The look in your eyes is THE most powerful, THE most important, aspect of your body language there is.
People ask me all the time if body language is important. My answer is an unqualified YES! But we have to look at WHERE it comes from.
If you work on the superficial, your body language will be terrible because it’s fake, like you see in the bad photo which captures your fake body language and freezes it in time for you.
Let me repeat this. The look in your eyes is THE most powerful, THE most important, aspect of your body.
Whether you are in person and even MORE so when you’re virtual!
When your smile doesn’t MATCH your eyes, whether in a photo, an in-person conversation or a presentation, you DON’T look good. I don’t even need to see you to tell you I’m 100% certain of that.
The other thing that happens when someone tells you to smile for the camera, is that you get self-conscious.
Self-conscious literally means too conscious or aware of yourself. It means you’re putting your attention on yourself.
Having attention on yourself VIOLATES every principle of powerful and effective communication.
Imagine watching your arm while you play tennis. How well will you play?
If you look back at that photo of yourself that you really like, what was your attention on?
What were you thinking?
Most importantly, what were you feeling?
I have no doubt you had no attention on yourself and you were filled with a powerful feeling. Right?
And it showed in your EYES.
An empty smile will NEVER create the effect we’re looking for.
It’s not in your mouth. It’s in your eyes.
You want your eyes to speak.
Film stars in silent movies knew this very well. They didn’t have sound to carry them. They spoke with their eyes.
How you do that is by what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling.
Let me make a point here. Your eyes speak whether you want them to or not. If you’re feeling any anxiety, if you’re even a little bit self-conscious, believe me your eyes are speaking that out to the world.
I have a photo of me I really like. I’m in India with 225 students. They’re each doing individual exercises. I’m wearing a beautiful Indian salwar (gorgeous silk tunic over fabulously elegant pants). I’m holding a clipboard loosely in my right arm and my left hand is on my hip. I’m closely observing a young student as he works on his assignment. I’m utterly absorbed in him and the look of pure love on my face floods the photo. This photo captures timeless beauty.
Genuine and great affinity for the person or persons you’re talking to is what puts that beautiful look in your eyes and makes you look good, makes you beautiful or handsome. And, very importantly, makes others respond.
I coach many senior executives. Only a small percent of them have sufficient affinity to be called charismatic.
I’m like the photographer who can draw the charisma out. I draw their affinity out.
I do this by coaching them on what’s in their core. Not superficial facial expressions or hand gestures, but their core, which is the true fountain, the true source, of charisma.
Going back to Marc, he looks like two different people in his “before” and “after” videos.
In his “before” video, Marc’s eyes are dead. They’re not cold, just lifeless. He smiles occasionally, but his eyes have no life.
In his “after” video, Marc’s eyes are filled with great warmth, they’re smiling, twinkling even. The look in his eyes fills you with great warmth for him.
This can ONLY happen with genuine feelings of affinity. You will never be successful faking it or forcing it. It has to be REALLY happening inside you.
It comes from inside you, moves to your eyes and then to your smile.
Marrying Marc’s incredible content with charisma created a leader whose communication is inspiring. I guarantee if you see him talk, you’ll find yourself smiling without even realizing you’re doing it, a smile that starts before you even have time to think about it. It starts the moment he starts speaking.
Which brings me to another point.
Many people have momentary bursts of affinity in their presentations. A small burst at the beginning, one or max two brief bursts in the middle and occasionally a tiny burst when they’re leaving. They’re all momentary and over in a flash.
Very few maintain powerful affinity throughout their entire talk. You can see it in their eyes. No life in the eyes throughout most of their presentation.
The key is to start STRONG and CONTINUE that affinity throughout your entire presentation. Of course that feeling will still have very natural peaks and valleys, but in a much HIGHER range of feeling that brings out the BEST in you.
My inbox is full of emails from students I coached last week, telling me that already this week they’re getting incredible results and the feedback they’re receiving is that they’re now “Amazing!”
Nothing makes me happier than helping someone who wants to reach others with their ideas achieve their goal. Nothing makes me happier than filling the world with great communicators. Nothing makes me happier than helping people be amazing. If we do this enough, we’ll have an amazing world.
Be the cause!
KNOWING without looking…
Many, many people have been signing up for our online training. It’s very uplifting and, as one of my clients said, “It makes you feel good about the world and it makes you feel good about yourself.”
That’s one of my purposes, so it makes me very happy to hear that. It’s a good time for learning.
I’m coaching a lot of people on their virtual presentation skills these days. I have about 50 students this week alone, a combination of workshops and one-on-one coaching for execs.
Here’s one question that comes up a lot:
“I know I’m supposed to look into the camera, but I want to see their faces to see their reactions to what I’m saying. How do I look into the camera and see their reactions at the same time?”
My answer surprises them.
There’s a huge difference between:
A. Causing the reaction you want and KNOWING you caused it without having to look
B. Doing something and then stepping back to look and see what reaction they’re having.
When someone says they need to “see their faces” to know their reaction, it immediately tells me they don’t have enough ability or skill to simply cause their intended reaction and know they caused it. Without looking.
You have to be pretty good to do that.
This level of ability gives you a super high degree of certainty. It’s a, “I don’t have to look, I KNOW I did it.”
For example, when you can say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me no one was multitasking during my presentation. I KNOW they weren’t.” And you’re right.
Or, “I don’t need to see if they get it. I KNOW I delivered it so well that they absolutely got it.”
Or, “They don’t need to tell me. I KNOW they like me. I KNOW they agree with me.”
Or, “I don’t need to see if they’re inspired or are going to act. They are and they will.”
And they do.
In other words, you knowingly caused it and you’re sure you did.
This kind of certainty comes from being able to hit it out of the park, an expression describing an American baseball batter hitting a home run that makes the ball travel so high and so far, it flies way out of the stadium beyond anyone’s reach.
What I’m talking about is being able to tell by the perfect FEEL of your swing, by the impact when you connect with the ball, and the special sound of the crack of the bat … everything about that motion feels so right, you start running around the bases because you KNOW you have a home run.
It takes an incredible amount of intention to achieve that.
Intention is positive and deliberate purpose. Deliberate means you’ve decided. Positive means totally certain. Certain means no doubt. Intention means no doubt about the outcome.
When you have that level of intention, magic happens. Whether it’s baseball or communication.
Society encourages self-doubt, but surrenders to intention.
I think I’ve mentioned to you that my inbox is full of successes and wins from students. What a joy to read them!
This week one of our recent students from Mastering Virtual Presentations wrote that she’d been invited to present to 200+ people at a Virtual event earlier in the day. She wrote she created, “25 minutes of focused presentation, total connection with the audience, eye contact, Affinity, FUN and intention! It all came to life!”
She had 200 people watching her that she couldn’t see. Did she have any visible sign that she was connecting with them?
No, she just KNEW, just like the guy who hit the home-run knows.
It’s funny. When you have that level of ability, you can actually FEEL the energy of the audience coming back to you, even when you can’t see them. Don’t ask me how, you just do. It’s powerful.
What happened after her talk? Over 50 people spontaneously reached out and emailed her kudos. 50 out of 200. Spontaneously.
When does that ever happen? Home-run.
By the way, she’s not a senior executive. She’s not someone people have to play up to. She’s an individual contributor. With noticeably amazing communication skills.
You cause the reaction of the people in your audience. Or you are the effect of their reaction.
It’s all up to you.
That’s why it’s so important for you to have a clear decision about what reaction you want to cause and the ability to do it. Then you can go ahead and cause it.
And KNOW you did it, whether or not you see their faces.
Work on your abilities. Work on your intention. Work on your certainty. They will lead you down the path to magic.
If you want to fast track your journey down that path, I invite you to get involved in one of the events below…
Be the cause!