How to speak with your eyes…

Do you have a favorite photo of you? 

If you’re like most people, you have many photos of you that you’re not crazy about, and a small handful you like.  That photo you do like captures for forever something wonderful about you.  It’s the one photo of you that makes even you smile.

A really good photographer knows how to bring that out in you.  That’s what I do in teaching people virtual presentation skills.  Bring it out.  In this article I want to help you see WHY you like that photo of you and not others.

This will help you create more photos you like, but the reason I’m focusing on this is that the same principle applies to creating powerful communication virtually, especially when you’re giving virtual presentations.

I’m going to use Marc as an example.  Marc is a senior executive I coached this week, helping him prepare for a presentation he’ll be making with thousands watching.  The two reasons people are listening to Marc are interest in his content and his position in the organization.

As a technical leader, Marc is extremely knowledgeable and has great technical content.  Marc also has a great strategy, and he’s innovative.  None of these come across. 

It comes across dry.  Fine for the first 3 minutes, then disappointingly uninspiring.  He can’t wait for it to be over, and neither can you.

How do you bring out the charisma of someone like this?

Let me bridge back to you and talk about how do you bring it out of yourself?

Well first let me tell you how NOT to do it.

You know when someone’s taking your picture and they tell you to smile? What are you feeling at that moment?  Pretty awful, right? Like you’re forcing yourself to smile when you’re not feeling it.  You’re FORCING that smile.  You hold it until the camera clicks.  And then you drop it.

When you do that, your smile looks fake. It doesn’t match the look in your eyes.

The look in your eyes is THE most powerful, THE most important, aspect of your body language there is. 

People ask me all the time if body language is important.  My answer is an unqualified YES!  But we have to look at WHERE it comes from.

If you work on the superficial, your body language will be terrible because it’s fake, like you see in the bad photo which captures your fake body language and freezes it in time for you.

Let me repeat this.  The look in your eyes is THE most powerful, THE most important, aspect of your body.

Whether you are in person and even MORE so when you’re virtual!

When your smile doesn’t MATCH your eyes, whether in a photo, an in-person conversation or a presentation, you DON’T look good. I don’t even need to see you to tell you I’m 100% certain of that.

The other thing that happens when someone tells you to smile for the camera, is that you get self-conscious.

Self-conscious literally means too conscious or aware of yourself.  It means you’re putting your attention on yourself.

Having attention on yourself VIOLATES every principle of powerful and effective communication. 

Imagine watching your arm while you play tennis. How well will you play?

If you look back at that photo of yourself that you really like, what was your attention on?

What were you thinking?

Most importantly, what were you feeling?

I have no doubt you had no attention on yourself and you were filled with a powerful feeling.  Right?

And it showed in your EYES.

An empty smile will NEVER create the effect we’re looking for.

It’s not in your mouth. It’s in your eyes.

You want your eyes to speak.

Film stars in silent movies knew this very well. They didn’t have sound to carry them.  They spoke with their eyes.

How you do that is by what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling.

Let me make a point here.  Your eyes speak whether you want them to or not.  If you’re feeling any anxiety, if you’re even a little bit self-conscious, believe me your eyes are speaking that out to the world.

I have a photo of me I really like.  I’m in India with 225 students. They’re each doing individual exercises. I’m wearing a beautiful Indian salwar (gorgeous silk tunic over fabulously elegant pants).  I’m holding a clipboard loosely in my right arm and my left hand is on my hip.  I’m closely observing a young student as he works on his assignment.  I’m utterly absorbed in him and the look of pure love on my face floods the photo.  This photo captures timeless beauty.

Genuine and great affinity for the person or persons you’re talking to is what puts that beautiful look in your eyes and makes you look good, makes you beautiful or handsome.  And, very importantly, makes others respond.

I coach many senior executives. Only a small percent of them have sufficient affinity to be called charismatic.

I’m like the photographer who can draw the charisma out.  I draw their affinity out.

I do this by coaching them on what’s in their core.  Not superficial facial expressions or hand gestures, but their core, which is the true fountain, the true source, of charisma.

Going back to Marc, he looks like two different people in his “before” and “after” videos.

In his “before” video, Marc’s eyes are dead.  They’re not cold, just lifeless.  He smiles occasionally, but his eyes have no life.

In his “after” video, Marc’s eyes are filled with great warmth, they’re smiling, twinkling even.  The look in his eyes fills you with great warmth for him.

This can ONLY happen with genuine feelings of affinity.  You will never be successful faking it or forcing it.  It has to be REALLY happening inside you.

It comes from inside you, moves to your eyes and then to your smile. 

Marrying Marc’s incredible content with charisma created a leader whose communication is inspiring.  I guarantee if you see him talk, you’ll find yourself smiling without even realizing you’re doing it, a smile that starts before you even have time to think about it.  It starts the moment he starts speaking.

Which brings me to another point.

Many people have momentary bursts of affinity in their presentations.  A small burst at the beginning, one or max two brief bursts in the middle and occasionally a tiny burst when they’re leaving.  They’re all momentary and over in a flash.

Very few maintain powerful affinity throughout their entire talk. You can see it in their eyes.  No life in the eyes throughout most of their presentation.

The key is to start STRONG and CONTINUE that affinity throughout your entire presentation.  Of course that feeling will still have very natural peaks and valleys, but in a much HIGHER range of feeling that brings out the BEST in you.

My inbox is full of emails from students I coached last week, telling me that already this week they’re getting incredible results and the feedback they’re receiving is that they’re now “Amazing!”

Nothing makes me happier than helping someone who wants to reach others with their ideas achieve their goal.  Nothing makes me happier than filling the world with great communicators.  Nothing makes me happier than helping people be amazing.  If we do this enough, we’ll have an amazing world.

Be the cause!

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KNOWING without looking…

Many, many people have been signing up for our online training.  It’s very uplifting and, as one of my clients said, “It makes you feel good about the world and it makes you feel good about yourself.” 

That’s one of my purposes, so it makes me very happy to hear that.  It’s a good time for learning. 

I’m coaching a lot of people on their virtual presentation skills these days.  I have about 50 students this week alone, a combination of workshops and one-on-one coaching for execs.

Here’s one question that comes up a lot:

“I know I’m supposed to look into the camera, but I want to see their faces to see their reactions to what I’m saying. How do I look into the camera and see their reactions at the same time?”

My answer surprises them.

There’s a huge difference between:

A. Causing the reaction you want and KNOWING you caused it without having to look

B.  Doing something and then stepping back to look and see what reaction they’re having.

When someone says they need to “see their faces” to know their reaction, it immediately tells me they don’t have enough ability or skill to simply cause their intended reaction and know they caused it.  Without looking.

You have to be pretty good to do that.

This level of ability gives you a super high degree of certainty.  It’s a, “I don’t have to look, I KNOW I did it.”

For example, when you can say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me no one was multitasking during my presentation.  I KNOW they weren’t.”  And you’re right.

Or, “I don’t need to see if they get it.   I KNOW I delivered it so well that they absolutely got it.”

Or, “They don’t need to tell me.  I KNOW they like me.  I KNOW they agree with me.”

Or, “I don’t need to see if they’re inspired or are going to act. They are and they will.” 

And they do.

In other words, you knowingly caused it and you’re sure you did.

This kind of certainty comes from being able to hit it out of the park, an expression describing an American baseball batter hitting a home run that makes the ball travel so high and so far, it flies way out of the stadium beyond anyone’s reach. 

What I’m talking about is being able to tell by the perfect FEEL of your swing, by the impact when you connect with the ball, and the special sound of the crack of the bat … everything about that motion feels so right, you start running around the bases because you KNOW you have a home run. 

It takes an incredible amount of intention to achieve that.

Intention is positive and deliberate purpose.  Deliberate means you’ve decided.  Positive means totally certain.  Certain means no doubt.  Intention means no doubt about the outcome.

When you have that level of intention, magic happens.  Whether it’s baseball or communication.

Society encourages self-doubt, but surrenders to intention.

I think I’ve mentioned to you that my inbox is full of successes and wins from students.  What a joy to read them!

This week one of our recent students from Mastering Virtual Presentations wrote that she’d been invited to present to 200+ people at a Virtual event earlier in the day.  She wrote she created, “25 minutes of focused presentation, total connection with the audience, eye contact, Affinity, FUN and intention!  It all came to life!”

She had 200 people watching her that she couldn’t see.  Did she have any visible sign that she was connecting with them?

No, she just KNEW, just like the guy who hit the home-run knows.

It’s funny.  When you have that level of ability, you can actually FEEL the energy of the audience coming back to you, even when you can’t see them.  Don’t ask me how, you just do.  It’s powerful.

What happened after her talk? Over 50 people spontaneously reached out and emailed her kudos. 50 out of 200.  Spontaneously.

When does that ever happen?  Home-run.

By the way, she’s not a senior executive. She’s not someone people have to play up to. She’s an individual contributor. With noticeably amazing communication skills.

You cause the reaction of the people in your audience.  Or you are the effect of their reaction. 

It’s all up to you.

That’s why it’s so important for you to have a clear decision about what reaction you want to cause and the ability to do it.  Then you can go ahead and cause it. 

And KNOW you did it, whether or not you see their faces.

Work on your abilities. Work on your intention. Work on your certainty. They will lead you down the path to magic.

If you want to fast track your journey down that path, I invite you to get involved in one of the events below…

Be the cause!

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Virtual is REAL

I woke up this morning to an email from a recent student.  She just got promoted and could not be more excited.  She’s a Millennial.  It’s her first promotion.  She’s flying high.  Another student was promoted to SVP of a major Silicon Valley multinational corporation.  Someone took a screen shot of the joy in her face when she was told the news during a virtual staff meeting and this beautiful photo has been shared a thousand times.

My inbox is full of good news.  Some days I can’t even keep up with it.

I’ve been wanting to create online training for years.  My staff will tell you it’s been on my “goals for the year” for a loooong time.  I never had the time.  We were always so swamped with in-person clients, there wasn’t a moment to sit down and design training for a whole new medium.

And then “now” happened.  When I pulled the staff together and asked them what they thought about the situation, they didn’t even have to think.  They said, “Great opportunity to do what we’ve been wanting to do for years.”

And so we are. 

In the last several weeks we’ve built an online business overnight.  Everyone working overtime.  It’s going better than even we expected.

We’ve been overwhelmed by the client demand for this training.  It turns out we have people all over the country and the world who have been wanting to do our services, but weren’t able to travel or have us come there. 

We’ve trained hundreds of people in the last several weeks, WAY more than we were ever able to do in person, and the wins are pouring into my inbox more than ever.  I was delighted to discover that the amazing wins our clients have always had working with us in person also happen when they work with us virtually.  I can’t tell you how relieved I am!  I was worried the client wins would be less.  Not so!  Whew!

We were able to offer free webinars for several weeks.  But we’re now being asked to do so many sessions for individual corporations, we simply don’t have time to continue them at the moment. 

There’s one exception.  A number of organizations asked me to put something together specifically for engineers.  We have so many of them around us.  So you’ll see a free webinar just for them below (or for you if you are one!).

I’ve learned so much in the last several weeks.  Some I already knew, but it really came home to me seeing so many people win in such a short period of time:

When you have the ability to engage any audience or any individual and create a powerful impact when you’re virtual, there’s no one in the world you can’t reach. 

Despite what most people think, the word virtual does NOT mean, “Not there.” It means, “MAKE IT REAL.” The word virtual literally means, “Having the power of being real.” Even though it’s not actual, it is AS POWERFUL as if it were real.

That means your virtual presence should be as strong, powerful and real as if you were in the same room. It means your communication should be as strong, powerful and real as if you were right in front of their face. It means your impact needs to be REAL. That’s what the word “virtual” means.

When you can do that, no one tunes you out. No one multi-tasks. They listen. They get it. They respect you. They’re inspired. They buy-in. And, if you’re really good, they admire you.

That takes some serious skills.  They’re easy to learn. 

When it comes to communicating effectively, even very capable people are operating at less than 10% of their potential.  Bring out the other 90% of yourself.  It’s there waiting for you.  There’s nothing more thrilling.  You’ll fly high.

Don’t listen to feedback that’s not helpful. The only feedback you should listen to is feedback that gets you excited and makes you feel your true power is being released.

Find a good source to work with.  If you didn’t invent Jedi, you’ll need a Jedi Master to help you become Jedi.  You won’t figure Jedi out on your own.  Work with a Jedi Master and you’ll achieve extraordinary results so fast it’s exhilarating.

We’ve had many organizations have their folks do live group online training together.  It’s crazy awesome fun.  I’ve never seen groups have such a good time!  Learn new skills together and support each other and keep the skills alive when the training is over.

Possibly the most important thing I learned is that ALWAYS is a good time to develop your skills.  It’s always a good time.  You are alive and have goals that matter to you today.  Don’t back-burner your happiness.    

You are important to the world.  We need you.  We need to hear your voice.  We need you to win at the game of life.  Whatever way you do it, gain the communication skills you need so life is not directing you, but you are causing it to go the way you know it should.  We will all be happier because of it.

Be the cause!

Upcoming Online Services

NOTE:  Please check with your company’s Learning & Development department to see if our programs are in their catalogue.  If they are, that’s the best way for you to sign up.  The free webinar for engineers is not in catalogues yet.

1.       FREE Webinar: Virtual Communication Skills for Engineers

April 28, 2020

11:00 – 12:30 PST

Click here for information and to register.

2.      Live Group Webinars for Teams or Employees to Keep Morale High

Click here for information and to schedule.

3.      One-on-one Virtual Coaching to Build Life-Changing Skills

Click here for information and to schedule.

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How Jesse blew away the Founder, CEO and CMO in a single presentation

Jesse, one of our clients, just sent me a video of his virtual presentation to VIP customers and senior execs after his coaching.  It was SOOOO good, it blew me away.  (Not just me, but his CEO and everyone else in the meeting.)

I was swept off my feet by how calm he is.  

Jesse is dynamic and charismatic … and calm.  It’s a powerful mix.  The one adjective NEVER used to describe successful professionals in corporate America is CALM.  And yet, that is the #1 barometer of real confidence. 

He is looking right into the camera, his presence is STRONG and it feels like he’s talking right to you. He also makes you feel you’re the only person he’s talking to, and that really gets your attention.

He takes his sweet time and makes sure that the quality of his communication is extraordinary.  He’s not trying to cram a whole lot of words into a short period of time (which always makes you look frantic).

His slides are in the background enhancing his presentation, but making a personal connection with you is his main focus.

Jesse has several key messages and takes his time getting them across, so you not only GET them, you’re impressed by them and you remember them.

The outstanding characteristics of his presentation are his comfort and clarity.  He is completely comfortable and his presence is nice and strong.  His pace is spot-on, he is extremely clear, and his slides now enhance that clarity.

And his great affinity and warmth for the people he’s talking to is evident in his tone, in all of his body language, facial expression and, especially, in his eyes.

All of Jesse’s effectiveness is entirely due to the fabulous connection he’s making by talking so directly to his audience, to you, via the camera.  That is what is underlying all this other goodness.

It’s a rare kind of presentation.  It’s personal.  It’s real.  It has personality.  It creates rapport.  It’s inspiring.  You believe him.  You want him in your life.

Jesse is normally very hard on himself.  That’s all gone.  This is what he emailed:

“My presentation was outstanding, even though it was virtual! It was one of my best presentations that I have ever made and I felt in the zone. As soon as it kicked off, I just felt comfortable and was able to flow with it. Your coaching prior to the session was career changing, literally. The CEO immediately sent me a note congratulating me and the head of Marketing sent a note to the execs in the company saying I “killed it!”... the Board member who founded the company also recognized what I did.”

Jesse ended his email by writing he feels like there’s still a lot for him to learn.

He’s right.  There is.

But it's the difference between positive and negative gain.  Negative gain is when the presenter is doing a lot of things that are negative.  They detract from making a powerful impact.  For example, experiencing anxiety, self-doubt, saying, “Uhm …”, being unable to connect with the audience, losing the audience’s interest, talking too fast, etc.

Jesse’s not doing that.  He’s lost all the negatives and entered a new rank of presenters.

Positive gain is when you reach a new dimension of extraordinary communication and continue to build on the positives.  You keep going higher and higher.  This is where your communication becomes good enough for you to become a great world leader (or whatever your highest goal is). 

You too can operate in this high class of presenters.  As you achieve higher levels of ‘outstanding’ with your communication skills, your abilities develop into powers and you begin to feel you’re operating at your true potential.  You’ve left the negatives behind.  A worthy and exhilarating goal.

Helping others achieve this is our mission.  It’s what we do here. So, consider this your direct invitation to join us in the upcoming Virtual Presentation Skill-Building Summit.  I’ll open enrollment for this session on Friday, March 13, 2020.  Feel free to contact us if you want me to put you on the list to pre-register.

Be the cause!

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Prisoners of the script

I loved Amelia the moment I met her…

She is a beautiful young woman who was recently promoted to regional manager over a large territory with many people and tremendous responsibility. She is warm, genuine and effervescent in her one-on-one conversations and very well loved within the organization.

Amelia came to the Transformative Presentation Skills workshop because she wanted to learn how to communicate effectively to larger groups now that she has to address a bigger audience.

Her presentation slides were artistically well designed. Her presentation had an excellent key message and was very well organized, systematic and logical.

It was also very corporate, especially in how she delivered it.  Amelia came across scripted, professional and well-rehearsed, but drained of personality. I observed the audience. They were polite but disengaged.

To handle how nervous she was talking in front of people, Amelia had rehearsed and rehearsed before the workshop so her mind would not go blank when she stood in front of them.

Her slides provided her with a script she felt she couldn’t deviate from. Her slides, even though a beautiful work of art, along with her script and over-rehearsing, were totally getting in her way.

I coached her on being in the moment and letting go of her script. At first she was petrified. She was terrified of being up there and not knowing what to say.

In reality, if you want to be really good, “in the moment” is the ONLY way to be. When you are in the moment, you don’t know what you’re going to say next.  You’re not supposed to.  You’re in THIS moment, not the next one. 

To focus on what you’re saying NOW, you must be willing to not know what you’re going to say next.  You have to trust it will come to you.  And, if you are fully connected with the audience, it will.

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about financial numbers, an engineering design, a quarterly update or giving a sales presentation. If you want to be considered a great presenter, you have to create an emotional impact on the audience. The more powerful your emotional impact, the more effective you will be.

The truth is, you can’t do that with a script.  It has to come straight out of you and be inspired directly from the connection you are making with the audience in that exact moment in time.

You simply cannot plan it.  Or rehearse it.

As you create an emotional impact, the audience will change in front of you and you need to be sufficiently in the moment to respond to that change and then take them even higher.

I helped Amelia to be free of tension and anxiety so she would feel comfortable letting go of her script. Then she was able to fully face the audience, connect with each of them and observe them individually as she spoke.

She wasn’t thinking about the past, she wasn’t thinking about the future, she wasn’t even thinking about where she was going. She was simply 100% in the moment, fully with the people in front of her, creating the message as if it was the very first time and crafting it brilliantly. The audience was moved to tears as I saw many of them dabbing at their eyes.

Amelia revealed the brilliance hiding within her by letting go of the script.

Once you are able to do that for yourself, you’ll discover just how much the world is waiting to hear what you have to share…

Be the cause!

Ingrid

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Transforming Larry: the worst communicator in the room

Some people think you have to be “born with” the skills and charisma that make a really great public speaker.  Not true.  Let me tell you the story of Larry.

I was invited to give a two-hour talk on presentation skills at a technical conference for a highly specialized professional association.

At the banquet the night before my presentation, I told the President of the association, Steve, that I wanted to line up a volunteer to coach during my talk.  He asked what qualities I was looking for and I said, “Someone who really needs to improve in this area.” 

He enthusiastically told me Larry would be perfect and I said, “Let’s go meet him.”  Well, meet him I did.  Larry hardly took his eyes off the floor while we were talking, and for the brief moments they did come off the floor, they went straight to the ceiling or the wall.  Turns out, Steve interpreted my request as, “Who is the absolute worst communicator in this group?” 

I told Larry, “You know, I’m going to be coaching you in front of 300 people.”  He glared at me for a brief moment and said, “What does THAT mean?”  I said, “I’m going to be telling you what to do and you’re going to have to do it.  Are you okay with that?”  He mulled it over a little (looking at the ceiling) and then said, “I guess that’s okay.”  And so it was.

After Larry left, Steve said, “I hope you’re going to coach him on looking at people!” And then laughed for 2 minutes straight. 

I asked Steve, “What does the group think of Larry?”  Steve said, “Everyone thinks he’s the worst communicator in the group” and started laughing again. 

Turns out that Larry has been the worst communicator in the group for decades (he’s probably pushing 60).  I said, “Steve, I not only have to teach him how to look 1 person in the eye, which he’s never done, he’s going to have to go from never looking 1 person in the eye to looking at 300 in one fell swoop!”  Steve said, “I can’t wait.”

In the morning Larry was surprisingly enthusiastic when I talked to him before the talk.  I told him that I was going to coach him to bring out his natural charisma and he said, “My what?”   I explained and he seemed to like it. 

As Steve introduced me, the group laughed like mad when they heard I picked Larry for my volunteer. 

Before I started the actual coaching, Larry did a “before” presentation where he was looking off to the side and pretty much mumbling to himself.  No one seemed surprised and we all applauded. 

Then I started teaching Larry how to own the room.  Simply looking at the whole room just about killed him.   But, bless his heart, he did a great job of it.  He really stepped up to the plate and, by George!, he GOT it!  He owned the room.

I had him present again.  Wow!  He was so much better!  I asked the group, “How many people saw a difference?” EVERY hand went up.  I said, “Let’s give Larry some feedback” and he got more positive feedback in 3 minutes than he’s gotten in the last 3 years.  He looked rather pleased.

Then I told him what he needed to do to REALLY connect with the audience and make each person feel like he was talking directly to them.  He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I actually wanted him to do this.  I coached.  He did better.  I coached some more.  He somehow got it through his head that he wasn’t going to get off the stage until he did it and SUDDENLY WHAMO ZAMO ZAP!  Larry was COMMUNICATING!!!!!  All the way to the back of the room!!! And he was really CONNECTING with PEOPLE!!!!! 

It’s no exaggeration to say Larry had charisma.

At two points during his talk, Larry was interrupted by spontaneous and enthusiastic applause while he was speaking.  The audience was completely captivated, engaged, and loving him.  No other conference speaker got as much applause!!!!!  Not even the ones who were paid high fees!

No one wanted it to be over and Larry was MOBBED after his talk. 

Afterward Larry came up to me and said, “I learned so much.  I’m going to use what I learned for the rest of my life.”   Well, you just had to hug him.

If there was ever a person who would have been voted “least likely to succeed at public speaking” before this day, it would have been Larry.

When I say, “Everyone has this ability inside them,” I want you to know I mean everyone.  This is why I love coaching people and helping them gain these skills.  When you bring out the “star” in a person, it’s a glorious moment.  When they know and have the skills, they can do it themselves forever more.

So, if you’ve ever had the feeling that public speaking isn’t something you’re fabulous at, I want you to know you can be.  And pretty quickly too.  Don’t listen to anyone who says you can’t.

The Transformative Presentation Skills Workshop coming up in November is a powerful opportunity to make this shift in a very short time.  I am absolutely thrilled to be delivering this workshop personally and seeing each person achieve a beautiful transformation.

Should you be there? Only if you want a result like the one Larry experienced.

Be the cause!

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“You can’t reach everyone” and other communication myths

Hal is a Director. When he presents to his senior leadership team, three of them pay attention.  Four are “laptops open” and checking their emails, looking up occasionally. Two don’t really understand what he does and don’t support him at all.

Andrea is a Vice President. She has a champion on the senior executive team.  But only one.  When she presents to all of them, they listen politely, thank her and drag their heels about moving forward on her recommendations.

Russ is a CEO who speaks at industry conferences. He wants to be an opinion leader for his industry. The ratings of his speeches average 3.8, marking him as an average speaker, nothing extraordinary. He’s generally perceived as trying real hard, but not inspiring.

Which brings us to a really good point.

If you have an audience of 100 people, with how many do you want to have a great connection? What percent of them do you want to resonate with your message?

Most people are happy if 10 out of 100 come up after their presentation to tell them how great it was. But that’s only 10%.

There’s a false idea out there that “you can’t reach everyone”. Clearly that notion was put forward by someone who couldn’t do it.  Yes, it does hold true for many people, they aren’t able to reach everyone.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

If you communicate skillfully, you should be able to reach 90%.

The problem is most people have no idea how to do this. While they feel they may do okay one-on-one, when you put them in front of a group, they get thrown off trying to talk to multiple people at the same time.

When they get up in front of a group, they’re not themselves. They’re straining to be someone others will consider a good presenter. They’re working hard to be “convincing”. This combination of factors makes them feel they need to perform.

Understand this: great communicators don’t perform, they communicate.

Most people don’t know how to cross that bridge to truly great communication when they’re in front of an audience.

So not only do their slides go into “presentation mode”, they go into an artificial presentation mode themselves. They force themselves into that unnatural stream of hyped-up or monotonous, continuous outpouring of words you see so much of in corporate presentations.

They try to cover their nervousness, fail to connect with everyone in their audience and talk too fast.   

If this is happening to you, the tough part is falling short of your own expectations. That’s brutal.

How do you transform into an individual who is free, unself-conscious, compelling, impactful, lovable even, and most importantly, totally comfortable and uniquely yourself?

Our Transformative Presentation Skills workshop was named by our clients.  After training thousands of people, we looked through their evaluations to see the one word they used most often in describing their experience from this training. That word was transformative.

In this workshop, you learn how to really connect, to reach everyone in your audience, not just 10%.

I’ve seen it with Hal, Andrea and Russ, the folks I wrote about above. Hal now has his senior leadership team with laptops closed, valuing his recommendations and even asking him to present to top tier customers.

Andrea’s recommendations are moving forward with senior level support at a speed she never imagined.

And Russ is viewed as one of the top CEOs, powerfully dynamic and a major opinion leader in his industry.

They all hit the tipping point of being able to reach an exceptionally high percentage of their audience, captivate them and get them on board.

If you can’t make it to the workshop, that doesn’t mean that you can’t work on these skills. The first step is to discard the feeling that you’re performing and that you’ll be judged.

Shift your focus from performing to communicating, and instead of worrying about whether or not you’ll be judged, simply make sure you are understood.   Understanding is the essence of communication.   Simply put, intend for each person to fully understand you.

It sounds like a small shift, but you’ll prove to yourself it’s far more than that when you start to see the effect of reaching more of your audience.

Be the cause!

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Your presentation Mojo

Last week I was delivering a presentation skills workshop to a group of seven women who are each highly intelligent, highly skilled, highly professional.  They gave their initial presentations so I could assess their skills and see what they needed to develop to become extraordinary presenters.

Their presentations were all very corporate.  Very businesslike and rather deadpan.  The facts of the matter presented seriously, matter-of-factly, no self-expression.  Corporate.

Then I asked them their goals. The first one said, "I want to get my Mojo back. I used to have Mojo and somehow I lost it."

Six hands went up and six voices said, "Me too! I want Mojo."

So Mojo became the goal of the workshop.

What is Mojo? How does it get lost? How do you gain or regain it?

Mojo is a fabulous word.  It captures a quality no other word conveys.

It comes from West Africa where it originally meant magic.  Today it means personal magnetism, those incredible moments when you are in complete control, you’re in the zone, you have a fantastic ability to generate great attractiveness independent of any physical beauty or handsomeness, to express yourself in a way that is uniquely you, and in a way that sweeps everyone along.  You feel GOOD.  And the audience loves you.

The most important thing to know about Mojo is that it’s that quality that is entirely you.  No two people have Mojo that’s alike.  There’s no such thing as corporate Mojo.  Mojo is something only individuals have, never corporations or groups.

What I've observed is that everyone has Mojo, but most people have lost it.  Little kids often have Mojo, but by the time they go to work in a large corporation, it’s gone.

Since Mojo is an expression of a style that is uniquely yours, any conformity immediately kills it.  And large corporations seem to demand conformity. That’s why corporate presentations all tend to look alike:  business people performing, trying hard to impress, to look dynamic, yet stuck in being I’llvery corporate.

Don’t fall for it.

You may work in a large corporation, yet who you ARE is not corporate.  Who you are is you.

Many people think they won’t be acceptable being exactly who they are, which is why they start to conform to what they think the corporation wants of them.  You also don’t see many people around you truly being themselves when they give presentations, so you don’t really have examples that show you that you can do it.

Let’s talk about with Mojo isn’t.  It isn’t self-conscious.  It isn’t anxious.  It isn’t self doubt.  It isn’t self deprecating.  It isn’t trying to impress. It isn’t seeking approval. It isn’t imitating someone else.  It isn’t trying at all.  It most definitely isn’t corporate.

Mojo has nothing to do with your content. It has everything to do with you.

In a large corporation Mojo is as rare and as welcome as a breeze of cool fresh air is to a hot, stuffy room.

So what does it take to get your Mojo back?

It’s difficult without knowing the fundamentals of great presentations.  These fundamentals are what give you the base of confidence on which your Mojo can sit.

You need to know how to own the room, how to make a powerful connection with your audience, how to have a strong presence, how to make each person feel like you’re talking directly to them, how to create rapport with a whole group at once, how to get your point across so it’s compelling, how to communicate in a way that inspires people.

Once you have these fundamentals down, now add in your personal style, add in that magic ingredient called YOU.

You’ll deliver a presentation that conforms to no other ever given.  You’ll deliver a presentation they’ll be talking about.  It will be powerful, in control, truly magical, and most importantly, most definitely it will be uniquely YOURS.

Mojo is you.

Be the cause!

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ALL thinking kills your executive presence

Ethan is 28 years old and works with billionaires.

He presents to SVP’s of Fortune 500 organizations and helps broker deals worth millions and even billions of dollars. Last week I spent a couple of days coaching him on his executive presence.

One of Ethan’s biggest problems was non-stop thinking.

Most people believe that thinking is good.

People in large corporations do way too much of it.  

During coaching they often tell me, “I know I’m overthinking this.”

I find that ALL thinking is overthinking.

Power is in observing, knowing, deciding and acting.

These happen fast.

And then you start to think about them.  Not only does that slow everything down, it completely obstructs your ability to be causative.

Ethan was so “in his head”, that as you were talking, he was simultaneously busily churning over what you were saying in his mind.  It gave him a terribly worried look.

And as he was talking, he was carefully considering every point he was making. That made eye contact difficult.  It made him look unsure of what he was saying.  It killed his ability to communicate with real intention.

Because of his job, everything Ethan does is high stakes. This gave him a constant sense of anxiety. This made him think more and more.

He was afraid to stop thinking and to just LOOK.  He was afraid it would make him stupid. Words would fail him, he wouldn’t know how to respond, he would look inexperienced.

He was afraid to just KNOW. He invalidated his ability to know because of his age.  Actually, people that age often know more truth than people twice their age.  They haven’t yet been taught how to compromise on what they see in front of them, to distort their vision to what others say they should see, or to lie to themselves.

He was also afraid to DECIDE.  The word decision comes from the Latin de which means off and caedere which means to cut.  When you decide, you cut off every other option, only one way forward. 

And he was terrified to ACT.

He replaced all these with thinking.  But the only thing that thinking accomplished was to take him around in circles.  Into more thinking.

At the beginning of Causative Communication you do two exercises designed to get you out of your head. These very unique exercises get you to operate completely in the moment and to LOOK, to aim all your attention outward, to keenly observe the person in front of you, to SEE.

The noise in your head is gone.  You are comfortable and full of well-being. Time seems to slow down.  You are in control.

This is the very foundation of presence. And superior communication.  

It’s also vital for forming a full connection with another person. You’ll never do it in your head.

Ethan developed a powerful presence. His age no longer mattered. He forgot about it and you forget about it too.

He also developed the ability to fully connect while he is talking with someone, anyone.  This is the foundation of a powerful relationship.

This is what Ethan told me after he took his new skills for a test drive in the real world:

My experience of people is so much better. It’s a complete shift in how I am.  It’s not only working in my negotiations, it snowballs into more and more parts of your life.

If you’re communicating effectively this is what it looks like.  If you want gravitas, this is what it looks like. I will never, ever forget what I look like in those two videos [his “before” and “after” videos], the one where I was thinking and the other where I was being, looking and connecting.”

This is presence.

This is one of many things we teach.  We taught Ethan and we can teach you.

The same applies when you are talking to a group or giving a presentation.  This is where thinking and being in your head can easily go into hyper drive and destroy your impact. 

In our Transformative Presentation Skills you learn how to stop all that and fully be in the moment. 

You gain a presence so strong, so true, so compelling, that your audience is forever changed by the connection they feel to the REAL YOU.

Give it a try yourself. The ability to do it is native within you. It’s one of your greatest abilities.  You develop it by using it.  Feel free to let me know what happens.  And let me know if you’d like any help with it.

Be the cause!

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The magic of moving beyond effective communication

Someone I highly respect asked me last week what I stand for.  I realized it was an exceedingly good question and something I had never written about before.

I stand for something you don’t hear talked about in large corporations.

Yet it’s actually what makes me valuable to the people I serve.

I stand for beautiful communication.  In large corporations, where I mostly work, professionals and executives are always talking to me about being effective, compelling, inspiring.  Mostly about being effective.

The truth is that I find being effective rather easy and quite boring.  Someone I coach struggles to get promoted.  Then, after coaching, communicates effectively and makes it from Senior Director to VP.  Personally, I don’t find that very interesting.

That’s the reason why, when I’m coaching someone, I won’t stop after helping them be effective.  Being effective is a level they do need to hit, but I don’t stop there.  And it turns out they are always happy I don’t.

Let me give you an example. This past week I was coaching a woman who is responsible for billions of dollars for her organization.  Brilliant woman.  She’s new to the role and struggles with the leadership team she’s a part of.  I’m reluctant to mention that it’s a male-dominated team because the fact they’re men is not really the issue.  Her communication skills are.  But you get the picture.

I coached her until she was effective in getting her point across and persuading.  She was quite happy.

But I continued to coach her until her communication reached a level where it became beautiful.  When she communicates at this level, she takes your breath away. Yes, she’s effective.  But she is also extraordinarily beautiful, graceful and elegant.  Not just physically, but in her presence.

Her very being, and in the incredible quality of her communication is a demonstration of beauty.

I coached another executive on giving presentations to difficult audiences.  He went from being overly defensive and somewhat forceful to being effective.   It was good.

But I didn’t stop there. I continued to coach him until he tapped into something inside him that made his communication extraordinary. It’s funny to use the word beautiful when you’re describing a man, but his communication was beautiful in the way that Martin Luther King‘s I have a dream speech was beautiful.

It wasn’t the words that became beautiful.  It was his arresting connection with the audience and HOW the words were spoken.

And, yes, he became handsome.

To me causative communication is about a whole lot more than just being effective. 

Inside each person resides an ability to communicate at a level that is WAY beyond effective.  

Yes, being effective is a milestone.  But for me it’s not an end goal.  It’s not enough.  I coach until the natural artistry and aesthetic within each person emerges.

Their communication becomes spontaneous.  They’re not thinking about it.  It’s just coming out of them. It’s pure.  They’re in a zone where they can’t help but be amazing. 

They’re now capable of creating an extraordinary relationship, whether it’s with one person or 10,000.

If a person is willing to do the work, that level of aesthetic is always there to be found.

Beautiful communication is inspiring.  It is compelling.  It is persuasive.  It creates extraordinary leadership.

So here’s the message:

Everything you want is a byproduct of the ability to communicate beautifully.  

If you want to persuade, create an effective team, get promoted, lead, inspire, give a great presentation, get a raise, negotiate a good deal, transform your organization or get your  teenager to talk to you…

They’re all byproducts of extraordinary and extraordinarily beautiful communication.

It creates the kind of conversation or presentation where you say, “Wow! That was beautiful!”

If this is the type of communication that you want to experience, then you are in the right place to discover how to do it. 

This is what I stand for:  serving as a guide for you to transform your communication into something extraordinarily beautiful.

Be the cause!

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How to talk to a room full of idiots

Steve, one of our clients, had the idea of the century. Unfortunately, nobody was buying it. He had been presenting it to management with zero success.

He brought this idea to his first presentation in the Transforming Your Presentation Skills workshop.

His attitude was, “You idiots! You need to really get this.”

Of course no one got it. It’s no surprise that nothing happened with an approach like that.

It’s never smart to present to a group of people you feel are idiots. In Steve’s case, he just couldn’t find anything good about the people he was talking to.

At the workshop, that was the first thing we changed.

And when he increased his affinity for the people in his audience, everything was different. Suddenly everyone was willing to listen to him. It was a dramatic shift.

Understand this:

Whatever you’re thinking about the person (or people) you’re speaking with is clearly transmitted directly to them in ways you might not realize.

The way you look at them, the tone of your voice, everything gets through.

We humans are WAY more telepathic than is commonly realized. We think we’re hiding our thoughts, but we’re not. We can’t! We’re energetically broadcasting everything in many ways.

Your attitude toward the other person reflects your opinion of them. And people are VERY sensitive to others’ opinions of them. It’s one of the things they are MOST sensitive to.

People will respond more quickly and more forcefully to your opinion of them than to the words you are using. They will do this every single time.

If you’re talking to your boss and you have the opinion he has more authority and influence over your future than you do, that belief gets transmitted and puts you in a “one down” position. This is going to mess with your intention and negatively impact any conversation you have about requests, promotions and raises.

If you’re are talking to your teenage child and you have the opinion they don’t know as much as you do, or that they’re making a mistake with their life, this is going to provoke an immediate and strong reaction that is not going to help your cause.

Anytime you have the opinion the other person is wrong, you’re asking for trouble.

Your opinion of them is the FIRST thing they pick up.

It is what they respond to.

This works in positive ways too. Did you ever have a teacher who thought you were really smart, good, creative? How did you respond to that teacher?

Does this mean you have to have a phony opinion of people? Do you have to pretend that they’re right when you really think they’re wrong? No! You need to stay true to yourself.

Pretending will work against you. When the other person senses you’re pretending, you will come across as condescending. And that spells doom.

If you want to be successful in one of these difficult situations, you need to take your attention OFF the negative opinion you have, and find things that you do like and do respect about this person. You need to genuinely prepare yourself for the conversation.

This is a skill. You have to practice it to master it.

When you can do this in any conversation, with any person, under any circumstance, even when they’re pushing your buttons, then you are on the road to becoming a world class communicator.

Be the cause!

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The dark secret about why audiences multitask

The only reason audiences multitask during presentations is because the presenter is not good enough to captive and keep their attention.

No one likes to hear this, especially presenters!

People like to think there’s something wrong with the audience. They blame it on bad manners. They blame it on shrinking attention spans. They blame it on corporate culture. They blame it on how busy people are that they need to do multiple things at one time.

In other words, they blame it on the audience.

This line of reasoning might hold water except for the preponderance of proof showing it’s wrong. The fact is, there are presenters in this world who are good enough to make it impossible for an audience to multitask. 

It’s never the audience.  It’s always the presenter.

One time I was asked to give a one-hour presentation at a brown bag lunch in a major Silicon Valley corporation.  150 people came, 150 laptops were opened along with lunches.  When I started to speak, no more than five people were making eye contact with me. The others were somewhat listening along, doing email and munching.

I didn’t view it as their problem.  I viewed it as a test of my skill. 

Within 10 minutes, without my ever saying anything about it, 149 laptops were closed.

I really connected with the audience.  One person at a time.

I made a very strong visual connection with them.  It was all about presence. And I delivered what I was saying with very strong intention. Not passion or effort…INTENTION.  I made it look effortless.

I didn’t wait for them to connect with me.  That’s not their job. It’s mine.

There was one guy in the back who didn’t stop multitasking.  A couple minutes into my presentation he looked up and gave me a very dirty look, like he was seriously annoyed with me.  A couple minutes later, another dirty look.  Then a couple more. 

Finally, he looked at me with complete irritation, stood up, picked up his computer and left the room.

After the presentation I found him working outside the conference room. Curious about what was so upsetting that it made him leave, I went over to him and said, “I’m sorry you didn’t like the presentation. It looked like what I was saying was really not to your liking, I apologize.”

He said, “That’s not what happened, it’s actually the opposite. I’m on a deadline to get this report out right now. I was hoping I could work on it and listen to you at the same time. But it was impossible to work on the report, I kept finding myself pulled into what you were saying. The only way I could concentrate on the report was to leave the room. So I was pissed off that I couldn’t stay and hear you.”

This isn’t some gift I was born with. It’s a skill. What’s great about that is it means it’s something you can master.

I hear from my students all the time that they used to have audiences that multitask and now their audiences are completely engaged.

This is one example of many from one of my students:

“The entire room was in complete silence and so engaged during the entire hour that you could practically feel the energy from their eyes and minds. If you have ever sat in a meeting with the senior leadership team, you know how unusual that is. Normally it is a multi-tasking fest!”

The longer you think it’s something about the audience that makes them multitask, the farther away you are from this skill. The sooner you decide to be a presenter who makes it impossible for your audience to multitask, the closer you are to mastering this ability and making it happen.

There’s little more gratifying than having an audience on the edge of their seats, utterly captivated. Can you handle that kind of power?

Come and discover how to do this at an upcoming Transforming Your Presentation Skills

I guarantee you won’t be multi-tasking while you’re there!

Be the cause!

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It's not how you look, it's how you feel

One of the first things I do when I'm teaching people how to master causative communication to groups, is videotaping everyone's presentations. So they get to see themselves on video right off the bat.

The most common reaction is that people hate their first video. They hate how they look. They're very self-critical.  They desperately want to change how they look up there.

It's not how you look, it's how you feel.  Most people have this backwards.

What you're feeling is communicated telepathically to your audience.  Human beings are incredibly telepathic and need no words to pick up exactly how you're feeling. It's the most influential aspect of your talk, it monitors everything:  how open they'll be to your message, how much they get out of what you're saying, how much attention and respect they pay you, how argumentative or critical they are and, most important, whether they buy in.

What you're feeling is way more powerful than how you look, your words, or your hand gestures.

I recently worked with a senior director who had taken another training program where, in an attempt to give him what they thought was executive presence, they taught him how to walk back and forth across the stage and do "big hand gestures". The problem was, he didn't feel comfortable or natural, so it looked artificial.  He sadly looked like someone trying to impress. You weren't drawn in.

There was a high-level woman, one of the best dressed women I've ever worked with, perfect hair, gorgeous.  She was extremely self-conscious and there was no warmth coming from her, so you admired her appearance but she didn't pull you in.

Both of them were posturing for the audience.  Not effective.

There was a high-level talent development/training director who wanted to come across as passionate so she could get executive buy-in for her department’s strategy.  She was feeling rather desperate. Her attempt at “passion” caused her to come across as trying too hard.  No buy-in.

I had a brilliant PhD design engineer who created absolutely dazzling slides.  Even though he was presenting hard data that was cutting edge and incontrovertible, he was scared to death. He came across as a terrified adolescent.

I also had a guy in sales who strode around the room, trying to look like he was connecting with everyone, inserting what he believed were dramatic pauses throughout his talk.  He was trying to look good, but he was feeling too eager to make the "close". He came across like he was selling, did not inspire trust.

None of them felt what you need to feel to communicate powerfully when you're talking to a group. 

First of all, they weren't enjoying it and enjoyment is vital. If you were talking to someone who isn’t really, really enjoying talking to you (perhaps only pretending to enjoy it), how much are you going to really enjoy it?  The same principle applies to communicating to a group.

I've had some people say, “But I enjoy it a lot! I love being in front of an audience and performing.”

Performing or trying to be interesting is about as effective as any showing off (which is all it really is).  When people get the feeling you're showing off, they get the feeling it's all about (and for) you, it doesn't touch them.

I'm talking about making a deep connection with each person in the room (or on the call if you’re virtual) and actually in the moment experiencing the rich emotional enjoyment of connecting with each one of them.

It's NOT an intellectual activity it's a feeling.  

It's a feeling of deep rapport with the audience.

You also need to feel relaxed, comfortable, confident and totally certain.  This slows you down considerably, enables you to think on your feet, really tune in to your audience and respond to their subtle non-verbal cues as you speak, thereby creating tremendous rapport.

The combination of these makes you look amazing.   

But the second you start thinking about how you look, you have too much attention on yourself and not enough on your audience.

Once you are up there, you have to FORGET how you look and create a feeling.  This feeling communicates powerfully to your audience and they start feeling it with you. 

I’ve coached thousands of individuals, including the ones above, and seen the amazing happen with each one, seen their full potential emerge, when they get this right. Each one of the individuals above is now someone you would love to go hear, regardless of what they're talking about, someone you just can't get enough of because of the feeling they create whenever they speak.

They don't worry about how they look. They simply get the feeling right, theirs and the audience's.

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How to warm up an audience

All audiences look disinterested at the beginning, unless you're Oprah, of course. 

I remember my first audience. I’d made the decision to be a professional corporate trainer, but as I was standing in front of my first group, looking at 20 skeptical, disinterested faces, I suddenly had no idea why I wanted to do this, and the thought occurred to me that I would be much happier if I just turned around and left now.

Well, that first time I was stuck. While I seriously thought about leaving, my feet didn't move and I started talking.

That was over 30 years ago and since that time I've learned that, unless the audience already knows and loves you, that's how ALL audiences look at the beginning. I often have cold audiences who don't know who I am and they look exactly like the very first one.

Many of my clients tell me their audiences are even worse, because they come in and immediately start multitasking.

So, how do you break through and reach the audience who looks like this, how do you get them warm?

By making a deep personal connection with each person. 

Focusing in on them as individuals, not as a group (this is very important). By putting your full attention on them individually and giving it your ALL when you talk to them.

I've had people ask, how can you possibly do that with an audience of 300? Here's how. You connect with each person briefly, so you have enough time to connect with all of them individually.  

This reminds me of an audience I had of 200 trial attorneys. The CEO of a very upscale, prestigious law firm hired me to speak to them about communication. Sounded good to me so I said yes.

When I got in front of them there was a wave of ill will coming from the group that just about knocked me over. Suddenly it occurred to me that this is a group who thinks they already know everything about communication and are only here because the CEO mandated it. I slowly realized that as trial attorneys, they were supremely skilled at silent antagonism when their opponent is talking. I was the opponent.

It was a wave of, “We want to see you fail” like I had never experienced.

As they introduced me, and I was eyeing the sea of hostility I was about to enter, again it occurred to me that I would rather be anywhere else. Alas, too late.

When I tried to connect with them as individuals, they repelled me with their eyes.

How do you penetrate a barrier like that?

I refused to be distracted by the hostility. I focused on the person BEHIND the hostility. 

As I was speaking, I put my attention on each person in the audience, penetrated the hostility with understanding, understood each one, one at a time, and delivered the full force of me and my message.

Many people think that during a presentation, understanding is 1-way. In other words the speaker presents, and the audience understands. This violates the natural laws of communication.

Excellent communication is predicated on 2-way understanding. 

While many people can do this 1-on-1, most people don't know how to tune in to others when there is a GROUP of them to tune into. But it's important and those who have charisma have mastered it.

So, as I was speaking, I was simultaneously understanding each person, one at a time, giving each individual the full force of my understanding. What they experienced was someone talking to them who fully understood them and WASN'T making them wrong for it. That's rare.

Let me explain what I mean by giving the full force of me and my message.  I don't at all mean that I was forceful, because I am very, very rarely forceful.

What I mean is not holding myself back, using both intention and vitality, combined with strong affinity and understanding to deliver my message fully.

Most people don't put enough of themselves into their communication to create an impact. Unfortunately, those who give their all often don't know how to ALSO make a personal connection with the audience, and so they speak passionately, but their message bounces off the surface, doesn't penetrate. The audience remains an audience of spectators, not an audience in rapport.

It takes both: a strong, deep personal connection with each person in the audience plus how you deliver the message .

It took about 5 minutes for the attorneys to fully warm up. I thought that was pretty good. It was a 2-hour talk, so we had plenty of time for the good stuff. And, when they warmed up, they REALLY warmed up. Turned into a wonderfully rowdy crowd and we had a great time.

Afterward, the CEO told me the evaluations were very good with a number of complaints. The complaints were that the session was too short and they wish they'd had more time. Considering they bill by the hour and the total billing rate in that room for 2 hours exceeds my imagination, I took that as high praise.

So, don't be at all dismayed when you first look out at your audience and see polite disinterest and feel that barrier or wall. Unless your rock band is currently playing on the radio or you’re speaking at your family reunion, that's how most audiences look. Even for CEO's.

But it doesn't matter how they look at the beginning. What matters is how QUICKLY you can turn it around and get them warm and with you.

The key points I've mentioned above always work, you can count on that. 

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The secret metric of a really great presentation

After you're done speaking, count the number of seconds before someone says something. The more impactful you are, the longer it will take.

If they speak the very second you finish, that means they weren't really with you, they were waiting for you to finish, their minds were already on what they were going to say next.

If it takes them 5 to 20 seconds before they speak, it means what you said had a profound impact and they’re absorbed in it.  It's taking them a little time to gather their thoughts.  

This is high praise for you.

The longer it takes, the more impactful your presentation. I've seen it take up to 5 minutes. And the audience still didn't know what to say. They were so moved.

What do you have to do to create this effect?

Many people think it has to do with WHAT you're talking about. It really doesn't.  I don’t know how many thousands of presentations I’ve seen over my decades as a presentation coach.  I’ve seen presentations on just about every topic you can imagine, most of them corporate.

I've had people tell me, This is a boring topic or This is an exciting topic.

There's really no such thing. I've seen seemingly boring topics made riveting and I've seen exciting topics made dull.

I've seen immovable audiences greatly moved. 

It has nothing to do with your status, your experience, or your topic. 

It has very little to do with what you say. 

It’s all purely about you.

It has to do with your ability to make a deep human connection with the people listening to you and to deliver your communication with great clarity and intention.

I had a student who worked in a semiconductor factory who gave new employee orientation training sessions.  In his “before” video, which was only 2 minutes long, he bored the audience out of their minds.

At the end of the workshop he gave the same presentation for his final video.  It was on fire extinguishers.  When he was done, the audience couldn't speak, and when they did, they asked me could he continue and tell them more?  Everyone was sorry it was over.

What he was talking about didn't change. How he connected with the audience and how he delivered it did.

He wasn’t more passionate. He was more connected. 

Big difference.

It has more to do with your heart than your mind.

One of my clients recently sent me a video of one of their senior leaders giving a talk at an industry conference for my feedback. Watching it, I saw a senior leader who did not stand out from the crowd. He looks like every other corporate senior leader giving a presentation. Interesting for the first couple minutes, then time for the mind to wander. This is what I saw:

• He comes across as totally sincere and very brilliant, but weak

• He has tremendous untapped charisma that doesn’t emerge during his talk – you can tell it’s there within him, but it doesn’t come out

• He’d benefit greatly by learning how to make a deep connection with the audience vs how he is now, coming across disengaged – once he makes this deep connection, the audience will be totally blown away by him

• He communicates very powerful ideas, but they bounce off rather than impinge – his message doesn’t penetrate as profoundly as it should

In point of fact, his presentation wasn’t nearly as interesting as the one on fire extinguishers. 

This senior leader, like so many others, has tremendous potential to win the hearts and minds of his audience once he learns this most basic of lessons:

• You have to make a deep human connection. You’ll never do that with WHAT you say. It’s not about how passionate you are. It has to do with your ability to penetrate all the artificial barriers inherent in corporate presentations and to connect to other human beings.

Connect means to unite. 

People spend WAY too much time practicing WHAT to say. They don't spend any time practicing how to make a deep human connection.

But once you master that, you can talk about anything.

And when you're done, you'll count many seconds of silence, each of which is more potent than applause. 

Try it. Experience the magic you’re capable of creating.

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Presenting vs Communicating

There’s one thing guaranteed to make you nervous if you do it.  It’s one of the first and biggest mistakes most people giving corporate presentations make.  And that is thinking that there IS such a thing as “a presentation” and that “a presentation” is somehow different from communication. 

The reason this is a mistake is because it causes you to go into presentation mode which makes you feel completely unnatural. Now, feeling completely unnatural, you try to talk. Yikes! Now you really do look and sound unnatural!

It’s one thing to put your slides in presentation mode. It’s a completely different thing for YOU to be in presentation mode. 

It will work for your slides. It won’t work for you. It starts you off completely on the wrong footing. 

If you listen to how most people sound when they’re giving a presentation, you’ll hear they sound completely different than when they’re just talking conversationally. They sound like they’re broadcasting. 

Anyone who is in “presentation mode” will talk at the audience and no audience likes to be talked at.  That’s a BIG reason why audiences tune out.

Additionally, when you think about what you're doing as “a presentation,” it’s easy to start feeling like you’ve got to perform. 

This creates all kinds of problems because when people think of performing, they start worrying about being judged. 

This makes them very nervous. It creates anxiety over, “I hope I do well up there” and “What will they think of me?” and “I need to WOW! them.”

How do you correct this mistake? By viewing what you’re doing as communicating. 

Keep this in mind whether your audience is 3 or 3,000. It's easy when you're 1-on-1. The skill is to keep doing it as your audience grows.

A performance is judged. A communication is understood.

Great communication creates great understandings. Your job is to cause great understandings.

You don’t want to perfect your “presentation skills”. You want to perfect your communication skills.  This will help you feel natural which is, obviously, very, very important. It will also make you effective, which is even more important.

Decide what you absolutely want them to fully understand. And then communicate it, don’t present it. And keep communicating until they thoroughly understand. You’ll see your impact grow.

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