Liam was terrified. Facing impossible engineering challenges didn’t frighten Liam. Facing a sea of faces and speaking in public did.
As an exceptionally smart Distinguished Engineer, Liam had achieved a level among thousands of engineers in the company that barely a handful, less than 1%, achieve. He was okay one-on-one and in a small group. What terrified him were all the presentations that management now wanted him to give to larger groups of customers and at conferences.
Liam suffered incredible anxiety the days leading up to a talk. The night before was a painful sleepless nightmare. And when he got up in front to face the group, he felt the world close in on him. His mind went blank and his mouth went dry. His hands and his voice were shaking.
Liam tried everything and nothing worked for him.
Liam showed up for the Mastering Virtual Presentations training hoping that he would hear something he hadn’t heard before. He told his Coach about the fear gripping his whole being that made no sense to his logical mind, that was crippling him and destroying his life as more and more he was being asked to speak.
His Coach listened to him, completely understanding how painful it was to endure. And then he smiled and asked, “Liam, when you’re giving a talk, do you feel like you’re performing?”
Liam looked surprised and almost shouted, “Yes! And it feels terrible!”
The Coach said, “I’ll bet it does! Let me ask you this. Is what you’re telling them going to help them?” Liam thought for a split second and answered, “Yes! It’s going to help them a lot!”
The Coach said, “Then switch your thinking around - you’re not performing, get the idea that you’re helping them.” Silence while he pondered this. And then suddenly a powerful force came alive in Liam.
Liam LOVES to help people! Loves it! And Liam especially loves it when people want his help. He goes far out of his way to help people. And he loves when he feels like he has helped someone. Most people do.
It never occurred to him that he was there to help the people he was talking to, that this is what he was supposed to be doing. He thought he was performing. He thought he was going to be judged for his performance as a speaker. He thought he needed some special skill that was not part of his expertise and that was completely beyond him.
It was like Liam was struck by lightning. He said, “What do you know? I’m there to help them!” It was a brand new perception.
In that one moment, Liam pivoted from “performing” to “helping” - and lost his case of nerves completely! He was so blown out, he almost levitated.
Even now, well after the training, I’m getting glowing “Thank you” emails from Liam who now eagerly looks forward to each group he’s going to help. And he’s getting rave reviews he’s very proud of, mostly saying, “That was SO helpful!”
Cirque du Soleil performs. Theater actors and movie stars perform. Magicians perform. Ballet dancers perform. Rock stars perform.
But if your presentation doesn’t help anybody, there’s no reason for you to be there. You’re not there to perform. You’re there to help.
Liam is far from alone when it comes to overcoming a bad case of nerves before a presentation. We’ve helped many people in our Mastering Virtual Presentations training leave intense anxiety behind and replace it with a powerful quiet confidence. When people get their heads on straight about this point, the nerves go away.
Even salespeople. If you’re there to “sell”, you’re going to tighten up and get nervous. If you’re there to “help”, the whole group dynamic changes. It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s whether you’re focused on the right thing. Performing and “selling” are about as different from helping as you can get.
Performing will make you nervous. “Selling” will make you strain. Helping generally makes you feel good. It’s something we all live to do.
Look at your audience. What do they want help with? Help them.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the CEO, a Distinguished Engineer, in sales, or in your 20’s and 10 days into your career. People want you to say something that will help them. The more you help them, the more they love you. And the more you’ll love yourself.
It’s actually pretty simple.
Remember that when you get nervous. Remember that when you can’t sleep at night the night before. Remember that when you stand up and you look out at their faces. Just help them with what they want help with, and you’ll be a big hit. With them and with yourself.
Be the cause!