Today I was coaching Daniel who’s working on closing a $10 billion deal. What’s the difference between working on a $10 billion deal and a much smaller one?
Besides all the zeros to the left of the decimal point, and the fact that with a $10 billion deal you’re probably working with a team of excitable people who are sometimes even more of a challenge to manage than the customer, other than these things, there’s not going to be much difference in the skills you need to close either one.
Both will take the ability to connect with another human being.
The people who come to me for coaching are crazy smart. That’s never their problem. I have to assume you are too.
Yes, you are talking business. Yes, you are talking through difficult issues. Yes, there’s a lot at stake on both sides. But if you subtract a real human connection from this equation, you have meetings that are rough and rocky.
Most importantly, the full wealth of your ideas doesn’t get across. You don’t have the richness of a truly free exchange of ideas, you don’t have the deep level of understanding and trust necessary to close a deal, whether it’s $10 billion or $2,500.
When I coach most people what I see is not that they’re not connecting at all. They’re connecting, but on a surface level that doesn’t go deep enough. That surface level is not where trust happens. Trust happens at a much deeper level. Confidence in you happens at a much deeper level. Decisions to go forward with you happen at a much deeper level.
You need to comfortably reach that deeper level with the other person so you are both there. It takes skill to reach that level of connection and trust with anyone you talk to. But this is where real wealth in life happens. Wealth not just in money, wealth in ideas, in trust, in communication, understanding and decision.
When you make a real human connection, the other person automatically changes. But it’s not an ordinary change. You actually see an incredible transformation in them. Often they’re like a completely different person. They’re open and reaching.
Elvira, another executive I’ve been coaching, is making billion dollar deals with her country’s government and had to meet virtually with the government team. There were eight government representatives in the negotiation and they all had their cameras off. She was talking to eight black squares on her computer screen.
I taught her Elvira to transcend technology barriers and really reach them, to keep it highly professional but at the same time to create a real human connection. She did it. In the first meeting, there was no change. In her second meeting with them, one of them turned their camera on, then another one, then another one, and then they all turned them on. She never asked them to do it, they just did it. And then they were all just talking. Ideas were flowing back-and-forth, rich and fast. Enthusiasm grew. Elvira created a real interchange of ideas and this is what enabled her to surpass her competitors.
When you create a real human connection, it always transforms the other person. The word transform is different than the word change. Transform means to make a dramatic change.
It came from a word in the late 14th century, transformen, "alter or change the form of supernaturally".
Supernatural came from Latin super "above" + natura "nature". Super means beyond.
And it does feel like something beyond exceptional just happened. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know what I mean. It transcends what passes for “normal”.
Elvira recorded the big meeting with them and sent me the recording for my feedback. I saw an extraordinary woman with a superior level of communication skill turn a group of strangers into friends. And that’s how she described it when we talked later. Their rapid confidence in Elvira was remarkable.
Daniel sent me a recording of his next meeting too. He created an obvious and powerful connection with each person in the group. Daniel stands out for them in a way his competitors can’t even dream of.
Daniel and Elvira make closing billion dollar deals look effortless. It takes real skill to be that effortless.
Deep human connection is the secret. If you know how to create it, there is no extraordinary outcome that is beyond your reach.
Be the cause!