Last week I delivered a Causative Communication workshop to a small group of wonderful professionals ranging from a reliability engineer to several senior directors.
Every single one of them, in their final video, is radiant. There’s no other word for it. They are about to be confronted with a difficult situation. And they are radiant.
As a matter of fact, even before they’ve said a word, they have won you over. Any resistance you have, has completely melted away. You are already smiling and completely drawn to them. You can’t help it.
Their radiance steers the difficult situation they’re facing solidly on track towards a positive outcome.
It’s an almost overwhelming radiance. You might call it charisma, but charisma is a shabby word compared to this. What you’re seeing is much more powerful.
Where does this radiance come from? Two things.
In their first video, the “before” video, they were all thinking. This happens to pretty much everyone, no matter how successful they are. They’re thinking about what they’re going to say, about the outcome, about how difficult the situation is, lots of things. This thinking introverts their attention.
They’re not really being there, not in the moment, fully present and so therefore, they don’t have presence. Without presence, there is no radiance.
Secondly, in their first video, they don’t have much affinity for the other person. There’s no reason for them to have any because the other person is being difficult, so they don’t.
However, in their final video, they have stopped thinking. They have graduated to looking and knowing. They are completely in the moment, they are completely there, you feel them totally with you. Their presence is strong.
Additionally, they are FULL of affinity. For no reason, except that they are. Their great affinity makes you smile back before you even have time to think about it. It supersedes logic.
Radiant means to shine beams of light from a center.
That center is YOU. The light that shines is directly from you.
And when you are fully present, with your attention fully extroverted onto the other person, and when you are full of affinity, you are radiant.
You are also beautiful and handsome. We talked about how politically incorrect it was to mention it, but it just is that way. Their unique personalities were shining and they were beautiful and handsome.
That brings us to our special holiday tomorrow. In addition to being about fabulous food, Thanksgiving is about love. And connecting with the people we love most. We choose carefully who we spend Thanksgiving with. These are the people who really count deepest in our hearts.
You are what they are most thankful for.
A powerful connection is born when you connect directly from you, from your center, from your core. You connect by really being present with the people you’re with and by being full of affinity or even love for them.
Affinity is one of the highest nutrient-rich foods you can ever serve to your soul. It’s the only substance in the world that if you start giving away in the morning, but the end of the day you have way more than you started with.
As for me, I feel very grateful our paths have crossed - I have been truly enriched by it and am grateful we are part of a community dedicated to making the world a better place with our causative communication.
I’m wishing you a beautiful Thanksgiving full of love! May this special holiday abundantly fill your soul and emotional heart too.
Be the cause!
Ingrid
