Elena, one of the Vice Presidents I’m coaching, came in laughing. I’ll let her tell you why in her own words:
“Our corporate office has been making us do the wrong thing with customers. We know it’s wrong and we’ve been complaining, but nothing’s changed, we don’t do anything about it.
My boss, Andrew, and I took a trip to corporate headquarters for a meeting with the senior execs. Andrew went on a rant about how it was wrong (he was right about everything). The senior execs listened but looked stone-faced.
Normally, I would go in combative. Normally, we come in on the defensive, ready to defend our position from corporate. It was clear that “Normally” wasn’t working.
This time, the same meeting was playing out again that always plays out, about how wrong everything was – it was “Groundhog Day” all over again.
But this time I came in with the mindset, “I’m not coming in to combat you.”
I came in ready to create a real dialogue. I came in with the mindset, “This is an opportunity where we could do something different …”
I let the conversation play out. I came in ready to listen … and I did listen to everything.
Then I took my time and really acknowledged what they said. I made sure they felt I really heard them.
Suddenly, they changed. They relaxed and looked more open. They were looking at us and I could see they were interested in hearing what we had to say – I saw a new openness there. I had been waiting for this sign before presenting our proposal. I said, “We know the problem. This is a time we can change direction.”
They were open to it. They heard us for the first time.
It happened so quickly – took less than 10 minutes.
Today we got an official email telling us to go ahead.
Andrew emailed me with, “What just happened?”
It happened so fast, he couldn’t keep up with it. In his mind, he was in “complaining mode” so thoroughly, he couldn’t keep up with it.
It was magic.
It was the Communication Formula that I learned from you. I was following it, it was working, but very fluid, it was fluid, it just flowed, very light touch, almost effortless.
Magic.
(laughing) I had to help Andrew understand what happened.”
When you have real communication skills, you have the ability to transform others and see the transformation happen before your eyes.
When you are good at it, that change in others happens fast.
This is a high level of skill.
Everyone communicates. Everyone has some degree of success with it. But it’s the level of skill that distinguishes a great communicator. You can tell where you are by your outcomes. They’re extraordinary? Or ordinary? Too slow or fast?
If you’re not getting the results you want, as quickly as you want, that’s a sign it’s time to up your ability to communicate effectively. It’s the most important ability you possess. It defines all your results. In every area of your life.
Don’t settle for less than the best you can do. The magic you have the potential to create is worth the work it takes to get there.
Be the cause!