When someone says they need to “see their faces” to know their reaction, it immediately tells me they don’t have sufficient skill to simply cause their intended reaction with their communication, and KNOW they caused it.  Without looking.

You have to be pretty good to do that. The best way to build that level of confidence is to build your skills.

This level of ability gives you a superior degree of confidence.  It’s a, “I don’t have to look, I KNOW I did it.”

I’m sure you have a wonderful vision – whether it’s about a relationship, a team, your personal life, or your aspirations regarding your work. And left to your own imagination, you can see something extraordinarily wonderful, exactly how it could be.  You feel it uplift you when you imagine it unfolding and becoming your ideal.

What happens when your vision meets “reality”? You face a choice. You can either go through life living in other people’s visions, or you can discover how to make your vision happen.

Whose vision becomes reality? That’s what matters.

“Every time I try to convince them, they get irritated. It’s beginning to look like they don’t even want to hear about it anymore.”

I’ve heard this many times, many people I’ve coached. Sometimes it’s regarding a boss or executive leadership team. Sometimes it’s a person they work with. Sometimes it’s someone who reports to them. Sometimes it’s another team. Or a challenging customer. Sometimes it’s about politics. Sometimes it’s with their teenager at home.

It could be anything, any situation where they’re trying to convince or persuade, to introduce a new idea, to get buy-in or make change happen.

They explain and explain. And then they say, “No matter how I explain it, I still get ‘No’ or ‘We’ll think about it’ or ‘It’s just not a priority right now’. Or worse, they just ignore me.”

When that happens, you feel stopped. Horrible feeling.

What can you do about it?

Real persuasion happens when the person, group or organization wakes up and recognizes the truth of what you're saying, to the point they are moved and inspired to act.

I receive many emails telling me that my weekly articles have helped someone. They say they read them before going into meetings, giving presentations or having difficult conversations. It’s helped them get fabulous jobs, promotions and raises, get standing ovations, negotiate big deals and transform relationships. Many forward and share my articles with others they want to help.

I am truly happy to hear of it because this is why I write – to help you live the extraordinary life of a Causative Communicator.

It takes determination to be a Causative Communicator. It takes dedication. It doesn’t just happen because someone took a course. It’s your dedication after the course. Most of all, it’s keeping the principles fresh in your mind.

With that in my mind, I created a booklet of some of my articles to help you stay true to the Causative Communication principles which will empower you to achieve success in those areas of your life that matter to you.

Leon: “How do you talk to people who don’t want to hear it?  When I give them feedback, they immediately get defensive.”

Me: “How do you start the conversation?”

Leon: “I say:  I need to give you some feedback.”

Me: “Any other way you start the conversation?”

Leon: “I might say:  What we’re doing isn’t working and we need to change.  Or I might say:  You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect it to work, that’s insanity.  Or I might say: I’ve told you all this 3 times already but nothing’s happened.”

Leon: Sigh.  “I’m just so frustrated.  They’re just not open to anything.”

The problem wasn’t that Ashley was soft-spoken or insufficiently forceful. The problem was that she didn’t have the skill of communicating with intention. Not surprising. Few people do.

When people really want something from another person who isn’t cooperating, they often fall into the trap of being forceful, being louder, trying harder, and even demanding.

They find out the hard way that none of these work. Intention is very different.